The 11 Commandments of How to Be More Attractive

I’ve always been fascinated by attraction and why we are attracted to some people and not others. In fact, I have informally studied how to be more attractive quite a bit over the years to make myself more attractive to other people in general – be it in friendships, business relationships, or romantic relationships. While most of the 11 commandments below deal with how to be more attractive in romantic relationships, many do apply to friendships and business relationships as well.  And ladies – don’t worry, I am not going to just cover this from a male’s perspective, I have done some research for you as well on how to be more attractive.

Speaking of research, all of these 11 commandments are based on research. Now while there is a physical component to attractiveness, it is not all about looks.  There are many other components of attraction that we need to be aware of and learn about if we are going to be attractive, some of which will be discussed in our 11 commandments of how to be more attractive, starting with…

#1:  Thou Shalt Have A Sense of Humor!

Having a sense of humor is important both for men and women, but in different ways. If you are a guy trying to impress a woman, it is important to have a sense of humor. Yup, according to research, women found guys who were funny more attractive. This is likely due to the fact that being funny requires good cognitive skills such as creativity and intelligence, which may be seen as valuable genetic traits for potential offspring. However, if you are a woman, men aren’t necessarily attracted to funny women. Some are, but the research shows that men are more attracted to those who were more receptive to their sense of humor. Wait! So, some of those girls who laugh at my jokes may just be humoring me?!?!?! Oh well!

#2:  Thou Shalt Wear Red

As we said in a previous post, studies have shown that wearing red has been shown as a proven way for how to be more attractive. This study showed that ‘Red, relative to other achromatic and chromatic colors, leads men to view women as more attractive and more sexually desirable.’ ³ Another study showed that men who wore red were more attractive to women. According to one of the authors, Professor Andrew Elliott, “We found that women view men in red as higher in status, more likely to make money and more likely to climb the social ladder.” he continued, “When women see red it triggers something deep and probably biologically ingrained. We say in our culture that men act like animals in the sexual realm. It looks like women may be acting like animals as well in the same sort of way.” So, if you want to be more attractive, get your red on!

#3:  Thou Shalt Be Available

Whether it is in dating, business or friendship, being attractive is linked to being available. That could mean being available physically, mentally, and emotionally when dating. Interested is interesting! It could mean being available emotionally in a friendship or in a long-term romantic situation. It could mean being available intellectually or financially when in a business setting.

Being rejected is a fear that is common to those we are dealing with in all of these situations. So, by making yourself available, you will put the other person more at ease and thus be more attractive to them.

#4: Thou Shalt Smile A Lot if You are Female, Not So Much if You are Male

I wrote a recent blog post on the benefits of smiling.  Turns out smiling will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, but only IF you are female.  According to a study done at the University of British Columbia, “happiness was the most attractive female emotion expression, and one of the least attractive in males.” ¹ Why is this? Maybe because women who smile seem more open to meet someone and maybe because men who smile too much seem more submissive. An interesting point is that one of the co-authors of the study above told CBC News that the study was focused on “gut reactions on carnal, sexual attraction,” not whether they thought the people in the photos would make a desirable partner or spouse. So, you might want to keep smiling guys, unless you only want a quick hookup!

#5: Thou Shalt Wear Sunglasses (but not at night or inside)

Another interesting way for how to be more attractive is to get yourself some shades. According to this study, a flattering pair of sunglasses can make your face look more symmetrical and faces that are symmetrical have long been shown to be more attractive.  Plus, they make you look mysterious and confident. A Prime Your Pump caveat – just don’t wear them at night or inside – guys they make you look ‘douchy’ and girls they make you look like you are starving for attention. One exception is prescription sunglasses.

#6:  Thou Shalt Leverage Social Proof

Surrounding yourself with others is a sure-fire way for how to be more attractive. Why? Because having more friends makes you appear to be more attractive socially and physically while being more approachable and extroverted – according to this research.

#7:  Thou Shalt Get a Dog

Guys – it turns out that man’s best friend can also make you more attractive to potential mates, especially if you are trying to get someone’s number. A study done in France showed that women were 3 times more likely to give a guy her number if he had a dog!  Hmmm, I wonder if they are 6 times more likely to give a guy their number if he has 2 dogs?!?!? Maybe my friend Bri is on to something when she keeps telling me to get a dog!

#8:  Thou Shalt Not Wear Too Much War Paint!

A study done by Nancy Etcoff, Ph.D., a research psychologist at Mass General in Boston, showed that the amount of makeup a woman wears can impact how she is seen by others. According to Etcoff, “Faces with natural makeup were seen favorably but faces with more dramatic makeup were seen as less trustworthy,” ² According to Etcoff – women don’t just wear makeup to impress men, they do it to feel more confident, which may be another way for how to be more attractive.

#9:  Thou Shalt Eat Meat

According to this study, “women preferred omnivorous men, rated them as more attractive, and felt more positive about them than vegetarians.” ⁴ This is an interesting one for me personally and one that I am personally conflicted about! On one hand, I have read numerous studies that say eating red meat is bad for you, but on the other hand, I do want to be more attractive…

#10:  Thou Shalt Ditch the Small Talk

Lastly, according to the research, you really do need to move beyond those shallow conversations comprised of boring small talk. Instead, focus on having deeper conversations which will allow you to better develop your personality. This will allow you to better understand yourself and others which will make you feel more connected and thus be more attractive.

Well, that’s it for the first 10 commandments on how to be more attractive. But you are right, I did promise 11!

So, here is the 11^th commandment…

#11: Thou Shalt Read Prime Your Pump – but not too much!

A study by Gignac et al. showed that intelligence is sexy…but only to a certain point. If your IQ is any higher than 120, your attractiveness starts to drop off, while if you are too far below 120, you are found to be less attractive.  As for why attractiveness drops off after this number? Perhaps it is because those with higher IQs are seen as nerdier and thus less attractive.

What does this have to do with reading Prime Your Pump but not too much? Well, of course, we want you to read our entertaining and actionable blog, but we also want you to be attractive!

Now if you will excuse me, I gotta go.

You see, I need to go walk the dogs I have borrowed (need to test out the research before making a commitment). Then I need to iron my red shirt, before confirming my reservation at the steak restaurant for my hot date later tonight.

But don’t worry, I will take my sunglasses off before I get inside, I won’t smile too much, and I will do my best to be funny! I’ll try my best to be available physically and when it comes to our conversations the last thing I will bring up is the weather…perhaps I will read Prime Your Pump, so I have some interesting and deep stuff to talk about…but not too much!

Until next time, keep being attractive and as always…PYMFP!!!
–Rick

Use it or Lose It – How to Be More Attractive

The 11 Commandments of How to Be More Attractive are:

   #1:  Thou Shalt Have A Sense of Humor!
   #2:  Thou Shalt Wear Red
   #3:  Thou Shalt Be Available
   #4: Thou Shalt Smile A Lot if You are Female, Not So Much if You are Male
   #5: Thou Shalt Wear Sunglasses (but not at night or inside)
   #6:  Thou Shalt Leverage Social Proof
   #7:  Thou Shalt Get a Dog
   #8:  Thou Shalt Not Wear Too Much War Paint!
   #9:  Thou Shalt Eat Meat
   #10:  Thou Shalt Ditch the Small Talk
   #11: Thou Shalt Read Prime Your Pump – but not too much!

When to Use It:

Always!

What Do You Think?

Do you use some of these commandments consciously or subconsciously? Do you have any others? Please share in the comments below!

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References

1 Tracy, J. L., & Beall, A. T. (2011). Happy guys finish last: The impact of emotion expressions on sexual attraction. Emotion, 11(6), 1379-1387

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-lines/201105/study-finds-smiling-men-are-less-attractive-women

2 Etcoff NL, Stock S, Haley LE, Vickery SA, House DM. Cosmetics as a Feature of the Extended Human Phenotype: Modulation of the Perception of Biologically Important Facial Signals. Suzuki S, ed. PLoS ONE. 2011;6(10):e25656. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0025656.

http://www.psychology.uwo.ca/pdfs/SONA/articles/1-martin.pdf

3 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18954199

Elliot, A. J., Niesta Kayser, D., Greitemeyer, T., Lichtenfeld, S., Gramzow, R. H., Maier, M. A., & Liu, H. (2010). Red, rank, and romance in women viewing men. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 139(3), 399-417.

https://www.spring.org.uk/2017/09/this-colour-more-attractive.php

4 Timeo, S., & Suitner, C. (2018). Eating meat makes you sexy: Conformity to dietary gender norms and attractiveness. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 19(3), 418-429.

Gilles E. Gignac,, Joey Darbyshire, Michelle Ooi. Some people are attracted sexually to intelligence: A psychometric evaluation of sapiosexuality. Intelligence 66 (2018) 98–111