This is How to Make Small Talk Like a Pro!

Nov 2018

This week’s video is about how to make small talk with someone you have nothing in common with.

It has happened to all of us. You are at a social gathering of some sort and you are introduced to a person with whom you must make small talk with, but you quickly discover that you have absolutely nothing in common with the person.

What do you do?

Small talk is not about words or facts…

…rather, it is about creating a comfortable environment for everyone in the conversation; no matter how irrelevant.

So, the first thing you must do is listen and understand the other person’s mood; for example, their tone of voice, body language, eyes, smile, to name a few things to look at.

Here are some ideas for how to make small talk…

…that I modified from a great article by Christina Park in Forbes magazine.

(1) Be Purposeful

Thoughts can be self-fulfilling. If you approach small talk with the notion that it will be boring, it probably will be.

Instead of thinking that (“I’m awful at this,” “I hate small talk,” or “when can I go home?”), remind yourself that small talk isn’t superficial. Small talk serves an important purpose – it helps build the foundation for authentic conversations and deeper relationships down the road.

(2) Channel your curiosity

Channel your natural curiosity into small talk. When you ask “how are you?” or “how was your weekend?”, approach the conversation with genuine interest.

Carefully listen to the other person, and provide a thoughtful response.

If you show true interest, you’ll invite further discussion and set a positive tone for future interactions.

(3) Ask questions

So how can you start conversations and keep them flowing? The answer is simple – ask questions.

By allowing the other person to take center stage initially, you can build your comfort level and test the waters before sharing your own thoughts.

If you feel uncomfortable or fatigued mid-conversation, ask more questions and subtly turn the attention away from yourself. BUT, do not let the other person do all the talking!

(4) Add juicy tidbits

If you constantly ask the other person questions, they may feel like you are interrogating them. At some point, you must share a bit about yourself.

Do not provide one-word, closed responses; these cut the conversation short. Instead, embellish your responses with juicy tidbits of information.

(5) Recognize cues

For example, if the other person seems taken aback by your sense of humor (for example, the examples I just gave), be sure to smile and express genuine enthusiasm in the conversation.

Or if the other person starts to get fidgety while you’re speaking at length on a subject, it’s probably time to switch to another topic or wrap up the conversation.

Use It or Lose It – How to Make Small Talk

Some ideas for how to make small talk include:

Be purposeful.
Channel your curiosity.
Ask questions.
Add juicy tidbits.
Recognize cues.

When to Use It:

Whenever you find yourself in a situation where small talk is required.

What Do You Think?

Do you have a hard time making small talk? Will you use any of these tips? Do you have any other tips for making small talk? Please share in the comments below.

Until next time, behave and as always…Prime Your Pump!
–Howie

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One Reply to “This is How to Make Small Talk Like a Pro!”

Dave Savadge says:

November 23, 2018 at 1:26 pm

Happy day after Thanksgiving. Time to kick back, relax, and wonder how I can get rid of all the excess poundage I gained yesterday. Joan looks at the positive aspects – its left-over heaven with no cooking for the next 4 days. Just microwave everything.
Among people that you know, small talk is easy as you already have something in common. But with a stranger, yes it can be difficult. The first thing I noticed, even before you began your discussion is that you replaced the usual snarky statement signage on the shelf behind you with a lady’s photo. If I were to visit you in your office, I would ask about the photo as a means of starting a conversation. From the style of the photo, I don’t think it’s your wife, but perhaps your mother? And that today was her birthday? Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong, but it begins a conversation. If the photo is of your wife, my deductive skills obviously suck.
If you came into my “office” here, you would see photos of Warren Harding and Clarence Chamberlin. I will not mention here why I chose those two, but both are great conversation starters.
Enjoy the rest of the long weekend.