13 Non-Primitive Gym Etiquette Tips from a Caveman!

I have always been a bit of a gym rat who loves lifting weights and staying in shape. I’m not sure how I got so obsessed with working out. Perhaps I am fulfilling the primitive DNA coding of a caveman that lies deep within all of us to be strong to survive. Or maybe I’m just a hopeless meathead! Whether you are a meathead like me or just someone who enjoys going to the gym, what’s true is that there is no excuse for not practicing proper gym etiquette!

Speaking of Gym Etiquette…Or Lack Thereof!

Many years ago, I had just moved down to Miami from Toronto and joined the gym I still work out at today. There is a large mat area where people stretch and do ab workouts. Every time I was there I would see a middle-aged man walk over to the mat, take off his shoes and socks and then proceed to do a head-stand. It was bizarre on many levels, with the worst part being that everyone had to look at his gnarly feet. In case you are wondering, no I never got close enough to tell you if they smelled, so I cannot comment on that part. Clearly, at least to this transplanted Canadian, he was not practicing proper gym etiquette. File this story in the back of your mind, we will come back to it in a little bit.

In the meantime, you can think of this blog post as a Prime Your Pump public service announcement to hopefully raise awareness of some of the most fundamental gym etiquette tips that should be followed.

At this point in time, since he has more experience in this area, I am going to turn this blog post over to my alter-ego, “Rick the Caveman”, and let him take it from here. Just FYI, he talks like a caveman, so you can throw traditional grammar out the window and just understand that he refers to himself in the 3^rd person often and does not use many pronouns or articles.

“Rick the Caveman”, the floor (or page) is now yours…

Gym Etiquette Tips from a Caveman!

 Rick learned gym etiquette when Rick was younger man.

Some things not rocket science, even for caveman like Rick. Such things include Rick clubbing animal for dinner, or Rick eating raw slab of meat with bare hands.

Gym etiquette another thing Rick not mess around with, gym etiquette very important to Rick.

Rick now discuss 13 important gym etiquette tips gym-goers need to follow:

(1)  Shades

Caveman Rick say sunglasses not necessary in gym. Make you look douchy and not cool. Only exceptions being if gym is in Venice Beach or if sunglasses are prescription. Otherwise…douchy.

(2)  Grunting

This one hard for Rick to stomach at first because he is caveman who grunts often. But this tip make sense to Rick after while. Grunting ok if giving birth and eating meat with hands, not ok when at gym.

(3)  Sweat

We all sweat, human nature, even Rick. But no one like other people nasty sweat, so wipe down machine when done.

(4)  Cell phone chats

No one that important where they need to be talking on cell phone in gym, even Rick! Keep phone in pocket!

(5)  Unsolicited advice

There always someone who is know it all who give others unsolicited advice. Do not be that person.

If someone in gym is clueless and may hurt themself, let staff know, better to come from them than you.

(6)  Cursing

Foul language not appreciated by fellow gym members.

Unless you are sailor working out on ship, leave sailor language on high seas.

(7)  Put stuff back

Rick not like crap being left all over. Rick like when you re-rack weights and put other stuff away after using it.

(8)  Staring

Do not be creepy guy or girl who stare at others. Staring belong in staring contest, not at gym.

(9)  Singing

Rick work out beside gentleman last week who had headphones on and sing very loudly. Rick glad man feeling happy, Rick ears not so happy man singing outloud.

Sing in shower, not at gym. (and not in gym shower)

(10)  Don’t Hog Machines

Gym own machines – not you, not Rick, not anyone else.

Do not stay on machine too long. Let other people work in.

(11)  Tone down the perfume or cologne

Shower and put on perfume and cologne AFTER workout, not before!

No need to empty whole bottle on yourself before workout. Too much cologne or perfume make distracting environment for other patrons.

(12)  Conversations

Keep conversations short when people trying to workout. A simple hi will do. Not cool to interrupt others workout.

(13)  Shoes

Rick see another man in gym atrium recently sleeping on floor with bare feet.

Rick don’t judge people who have foot fetish. But there time and place for foot fetish, gym not the place!

Keep shoes on when at gym. Even in Miami, barefeet not cool at gym, only at beach. But watch out for jellyfish!

Rick not know what deal is with bare feet people at his gym.

Last tip a little uncomfortable for Rick to talk about…

But since this public service announcement, Rick will do it for good of public.

True story.

Recently, good friend of Rick, call her Jessica to protect identity, come to Rick at gym freaking out. Rick ask her what wrong. Turn out, bare foot man from #13 above lying on stretching mat with purple homewrecker visible through shorts. This make Jessica very uncomfortable. Only person she like to see that from is husband – and even then, not often.

Rick understand sometimes hard to control when gentleman down south refuse to sit down. Rick totally get it, it happen to all man.

So, Rick recommend roll over onto stomach until he does. Neither Rick nor Jessica or anyone else need to see that.

Until next time, practice gym etiquette, feel free to eat meat with hands, and as always…PYMFP!
–Rick the Caveman

Use It or Lose It

Some gym etiquette tips you should follow at the gym:

(1)  Take your sunglasses off!
(2)  No need to grunt or make any other weird sounds.
(3)  Wipe the sweat off the machine after you use it.
(4)  Don’t talk on your cell phone in the gym, it’s rude.
(5)  Don’t give others unsolicited advice. If you see someone who is clueless and think they may hurt themselves, simply alert a staff member.
(6)  Watch your mouth and refrain from cursing.
(7)  Put stuff back, re-rack your weights, leave stuff how you found it.
(8)  Don’t be the creepy person who stares.
(9)  Keep your singing out loud to the shower…at home!
(10)  Don’t hog the machines and let others work in.
(11)  Go easy on the perfume or cologne.
(12)  Don’t talk to people when they are trying to workout.
(13)  And for God’s sake – KEEP YOUR DAMN SHOES ON!!!!

When to Use It

Use these gym etiquette tips at the gym or club where you workout.

What Do You Think?

Are there any other gym etiquette tips that we missed? Please share in the comments below!

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