Free Trait Theory: When and How to Act Out of Character!

In one particularly intriguing part of her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts, author Susan Cain introduces us to two men.

The first is a professor who is a man “with a booming baritone, a habit of breaking into song and twirling about onstage, and an old-school actor’s way to emphasizing consonants and elongating vowels.” ¹

The second is a man “who lives with his wife in a tucked-away house on more than two acres of remote Canadian woods, visited occasionally by his children and grandchildren but otherwise keeping to himself.”¹

What’s surprising is that the vaudevillian first person and the reclusive second person are the same man, former Harvard psychology professor, Brian Little!

The fascinating book takes a deep dive into the dynamics of introversion while busting many of the myths associated with it. And while it is too lengthy to completely cover in a 1,500-word blog post, I will discuss one of the more actionable aspects in her book which is known as free trait theory.

In a nutshell, free trait theory discusses how it is possible for us to behave differently depending on the situation.

Before we get into free trait theory, let’s take a quick look at the main differences between introversion and extroversion.

Introversion vs. Extroversion – What’s the Difference?

As Cain says,

“Depending on which study you consult, one third to one half of Americans are introverts—in other words, one out of every two or three people you know. (Given that the United States is among the most extroverted of nations, the number must be at least as high in other parts of the world.) If you’re not an introvert yourself, you are surely raising, managing, married to, or coupled with one.” ¹

While, according to Cain, there is no all-purpose definition of introversion or extroversion, there are several important differences that today’s psychologists agree upon:

Extroverts:

  Need the extra jolt that comes from meeting new people or cranking up the stereo.

  At work: they take projects quickly, make quick decisions, engage in risk-taking and multi-tasking, and are drawn to rewards like money and status.

  Their personalities exude assertiveness, dominance, they love company and are the life of the party. Sometimes they say things they wish they hadn’t said.

  They are ok with conflict but dislike solitude.

Introverts:

  Feel ‘just right’ with less stimulation such as doing a crossword puzzle or reading a book

  At work: they tackle projects more methodically and deliberately, like to work on one task at a time, have a great ability to concentrate, and are less focused on wealth and fame.

  While they can have great social skills and enjoy parties, they are more comfortable at home or spending their social time with close friends, and family.

  They listen much more than they speak and think before they say something. While they despise small talk, they do enjoy deep conversations and prefer to express themselves in writing.

  Most introverts dislike conflictand crave solitude.

Still not sure where you fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum?

Take Cain’s quick assessment in the next section.

A Quick Assessment

The idea is to answer each of the 20 questions with “true” or “false” by selecting the answer that applies to you more often than it does not.

(1)_____I prefer one-on-one conversations to group activities.
(2)_____I often prefer to express myself in writing.
(3)_____I enjoy solitude.
(4)_____I seem to care less than my peers about wealth, fame, and status.
(5)_____I dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in depth about topics that matter to me.
(6)_____People tell me that I’m a good listener.
(7)_____I’m not a big risk-taker.
(8)_____I enjoy work that allows me to “dive in” with few interruptions.
(9)_____I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale, with only one or two close friends or family members.
(10)_____People describe me as “soft-spoken” or “mellow”.
(11)_____I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until it’s finished.
(12)_____I dislike conflict.
(13)_____I do my best work on my own.
(14)_____I tend to think before I speak.
(15)_____I feel drained after being out and about, even if I’ve enjoyed myself.
(16)_____I often let calls go through to voicemail.
(17)_____If I had to choose, I’d prefer a weekend with absolutely nothing to do to one with too many things scheduled.
(18)_____I don’t enjoy multitasking.
(19)_____I can concentrate easily.
(20)_____In classroom situations, I prefer lectures to seminars.

The more times you answered “true”, the more introverted you are, while the more times you answered “false”, the more extroverted you are.

However, even if you answered all “true” or all “false” it doesn’t mean that your behavior is predictable across every situation.

As Carl Jung said, “There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.” This is because we are all complex individuals and there are so many types of introverts and extroverts.

The Person-Situation Debate

According to Cain, psychologists have long argued something called the “person-situation” debate. She asks, “Do fixed personality traits really exist, or do they shift according to the situation in which people find themselves?” ¹

The “person” side believes that we have personality traits which shape our lives in profound ways that are relatively stable during our lifespan and based on physiological mechanisms

While the “situation” side, on the other hand, argues that generalizations about people (being shy, agreeable, aggressive) are misleading and that the situation we are in is a better predictor of our behavior.

So, what gives?

As Cain says, the “person-situation” debate has been supplanted by an understanding that is more nuanced and to me, it seems to be a combination of both.

Psychologists now acknowledge we can feel sociable at one time of the day and solitary at another and that these variations are legitimate and dependent on the situation. That being said, “they also emphasize how much evidence has emerged to support that notwithstanding these variations, there truly is such a thing as a fixed personality.” ¹

The question then becomes…

Should We Try to Manipulate Our Behavior to Our Advantage?

While we realize there are physiological limits to who we are and how we behave, is it in our best interest to modify our behavior in certain situations to get what we want?

For example, if you are an extrovert – should you save your true self for crazy weekends and spend the weekdays in a more focused and studious manner? If you are an introvert, should you save your true self for quiet, relaxing weekends and spend your weekdays getting out there, meeting people and speaking more often?

Based on her research Cain believes the best answer she has found is from the guy in the introduction, Brian Little and his free trait theory.

Queue Free Trait Theory

Little has created a theory called Free Trait Theory which says that we are all born with certain personality traits such as introversion but that we can and do act out of character in the pursuit of what he calls “core personal projects.”

In other words, he believes introverts can act like extroverts when focused on work they think is important, people they love or anything else they hold dear.

For example, an introvert throws a party for her extroverted husband or an extrovert researcher is reserved in his laboratory.

How to Use Free Trait Theory

So, should we fake it? According to Cain, “The answer is that a free trait strategy can be effective when used judiciously, but disastrous if overdone.” ¹

The key is to identify your core personal projects so that your pseudo-extroversion is supported by deeper values, otherwise you will be acting out of character on a project you don’t give a crap about and you will not be successful.

There are three aspects to using free trait theory:

(1)  Identify Your Core Personal Projects

Cain has identified three steps to identify your core personal projects:

(i)  Think back to when you were a kid, what did you want to be? If you wanted to be a police officer, what did it mean to you?

(ii)  Be aware of the type of work you gravitate to which will help you identify what lights you up.

(iii)  Lastly, think about what you envy. While jealousy is an ugly emotion, it does tell the truth as you envy those who have what you want.

(2)  Use Restorative Niches

A restorative niche is an important and necessary place you go when you want to get back to your true self. It can be physical, like going for a quiet walk or simply closing your door between meetings.

Cain gives some good advice regarding restorative niches and believes it should be a critical factor when accepting a new job:

For introverts: will you have time to work on solitary activities like reading, writing, and researching? Is the workspace open concept or will you have your own office?

For extroverts: does the job involve social interaction, meeting new people and traveling? Will the office layout be stimulating enough?

(3)  Use Free Trait Agreements

Finding restorative niches isn’t easy, which is where the last piece of the free trait theory comes by creating free trait agreements.

Free trait agreements simply acknowledge that “we’ll each act out of character some of the time-in exchange for being ourselves the rest of the time.” ¹

For example, an extroverted wife and introverted husband agree that half the time we’ll go out and the other half we’ll stay home. Or you let your friend know you will attend their bachelor party and wedding but skip the rest of the wedding activities.

These free trait agreements are easier to create in your personal life than in your work life where you need to tread more indirectly.

Lastly, the most important person to have a free trait agreement with is yourself. For example, let’s say you are starting to build your own business which requires networking. You may make a free trait agreement that you will go to one networking event per week, meet “X” amount of people and then go home and not feel bad about turning down other opportunities that arise.

A quick word of caution before we sign off, restorative niches are critical and acting out of character can cause you to burn out both mentally and physically. Cain also says that prolonged acting out of character can also have other side effects such as increased stress, cardiovascular disease and increased autonomic nervous system activity, which can compromise immune functioning.

If You Are an Introvert, You Are in Good Company!

Some well-known introverts include Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, Michael Jordan, Rosa Parks, Al Gore, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Buffet, and Bill Gates.

 And for those of you who answered the assessment above with a roughly equal number of “true” and “false” answers, as I did, you may be what is called an “ambivert”.

 I am selfishly hoping Cain is working on a new book called The Power of Ambiverts!

Until next time, use free trait theory if you think it may help you and as always…PYMFP!
–Rick

If you enjoyed this post, it would mean the world to us if you shared it with people you care about via any of the social media platforms below!

Popular Previous Posts:

Digital Declutter: This is How to Reset Your Digital Life
Defining Moments: This is How to Create Them for Others!
The Picture Superiority Effect: This is Why and How to Use It
Executive Presence: How to Act, Speak & Look Like a Leader

References

1 Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain