Is Overcoming Hesitation Hard for You? Then Try This!
When most of us think of the 5-second rule, what typically comes to mind is not overcoming hesitation but instead, it is the food hygiene concept. You know the one – when you drop a piece of food and have 5 seconds to pick it up and eat it before it gets contaminated!
When I was home for Christmas, I learned about another version of the 5-second rule and in a bit of a peculiar way! My sister and her husband have a 6-year-old chocolate lab named Toby. It seems the little guy had a traumatic experience falling down the stairs as a pup. Now, he is afraid to come up the stairs, so he just stands at the bottom of the stairs after coming in from outside.
To get him to come up the stairs by overcoming hesitation, my sister walks over to the top of the stairs and says, “Ok Toby 5-4-3-2-1 come on!” Amazingly, the little bugger whimpers a couple of times and then runs up the stairs!
I am not sure helping animals with their psychological issues in overcoming hesitation is what author Mel Robbins had in mind when she created the 5-second rule, but at least for a sample size of 1…it works.
What is the 5 Second Rule?
In her book, The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage, as well as her TED Talk, Robbins has created a technique to help us get out of our own heads for overcoming hesitation to take action when we don’t want to by using a technique called the 5 Second Rule.
The 5-second rule is simply this…
…once you have the instinct to act on a goal or objective,
you must count down from 5…5-4-3-2-1 and take action on it by physically moving – otherwise your brain will stop you.
The 5-second rule is what is known as a “metacognition tool”, which is simply a technique that helps in overcoming hesitation as you beat your brain to accomplish your objectives.
So, the idea is to use it anytime you want to do something where you know you should do it, but feel scared, uncertain, or overwhelmed.
Just start counting backward 5-4-3-2-1, when you get to 1 – move!
What is the Idea of Counting Down Backwards from 5?
By counting down from 5, you are tricking your brain by distracting you from your default thinking and your usual excuses which helps focus you into moving in a new direction by overcoming hesitation.
In more scientific terms, it is what is called a “starting ritual” or trigger which engages your prefrontal cortex helping to change your behavior.
Recall a previous post on creating new habits via a method called habit stacking.
According to Stanford professor B.J. Fogg and his formula of tiny habits, there are 3 things that need to occur at the same time for a behavior to change:
(1) Motivation – meaning you need to want to do it.
(2) Ability – meaning you need to have the ability to do it.
(3) Trigger – meaning there needs to be a cue or something that causes you to do it.
The 5-second rule is a trigger that gets you to do whatever it is you need to do.
Why The 5-Second Rule Works with Overcoming Hesitation
When we want to do something that is hard or that scares us, our brain is hardwired to try to stop us, it is a protective mechanism. It causes us to hesitate and the longer we hesitate, the less likely we are to do things.
By using the 5-second rule it helps us focus on our goal or objective thereby distracting us from the fear, worry and other stuff going on in our heads. It helps quiet our mind meaning we are less likely to hesitate, overthink things and hold back from taking action.
Simply put, it helps us get out of our tendency of analysis paralysis.
Why Use The 5 Second Rule?
By not taking action when we know we should, we are going to miss out on a ton of great opportunities in life – that’s why!
In another great book that I read recently called Originals, author Adam Grant described how many famously successful people almost missed out on great opportunities due to not overcoming hesitation and not acting right away. Some of those include Michelangelo, Steve Wozniak from Apple, and Martin Luther King.
He goes on to say:
“We can only imagine how many Wozniaks, Michelangelos, and Kings never pursued, publicized, or promoted their original ideas because they were not dragged or catapulted into the spotlight.” 2
Situations to Use It
Robbins recommends three broad categories for when you can use the 5-second rule:
(1) To change your behavior
It can help you push yourself to form new habits, stop bad habits, and be more intentional and effective with yourself and in your relationships.
(2) To act with everyday courage
To help you find the courage to do things you don’t want to do which helps you build your confidence as you pursue your passions.
(3) To control your mind
To help stop the onslaught of negative or fearful thoughts. By using it to shift your thoughts to things that are positive rather than focusing on the negative.
Some Examples of When to Use It for Overcoming Hesitation
A few examples of when to use it in our lives to help us do things we do not want to do:
To get to the gym when you aren’t feeling it…5-4-3-2-1, get up and go!
To practice patience with stupid people and ridiculous people who annoy the hell out of you…5-4-3-2-1, keep your mouth shut instead of saying something you will regret!
When you are afraid to speak in a meeting…5-4-3-2-1…say what’s on your mind!
If you are scared to say no to someone…5-4-3-2-1…say no!
When you don’t want to ask for help, even though you know you should…5-4-3-2-1…ask for help!
In times that you are afraid of talking to someone that you find attractive…5-4-3-2-1…bust a move!
To ask for the raise you think you deserve…5-4-3-2-1…just ask!
As Robbins says:
“When it comes to change, goals, and dreams, you have to bet on yourself. That bet starts with hearing the instinct to change and honoring that instinct with action.”
Remember, The Result is Irrelevant…
Sometimes going up and talking to that attractive person when you are scared to will result in a date, and sometimes it won’t.
But that is not the point, and that is not what matters!
What matters is that you start building that muscle and the confidence that taking action brings by separating your feelings from the actions that you take.
We Were Sitting at Christmas Dinner…
When Toby showed that overcoming his fear of climbing the stairs is not the only way he uses the 5-second rule.
Case in point, I dropped a piece of turkey and within a second, he was on it.
Zero hesitation and zero analysis paralysis. 5-4-3-2-1, pounce!
Who knew he was such a little 5-second rule savant?!?!
Remember, there is never a “right time” and there will never be a “right time”!
So, 5-4-3-2-1 – Act now!
Until next time, 5-4-3-2-1…watch out for lurking labs, and as always…PYMFP!
–Rick
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References
1 The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins
2 Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World by Adam Grant
I used the 3 second count- up with my children and my students and it always worked! I never thought about using a 5 second rule for myself. I can see how helpful it can be in the examples you cited. I will try it! Thanks Rick
Hi Eileen, It definitely can work with kids and yourself when in situations where you tend to hesitate. Thanks and be good, Rick
The 5 second rule works! I use it all the time. 5-4-3-2-1 take out the trash. 5-4-3-2-1 fold the laundry, 5-4-3-2-1 get out of the chair, go outside, and mosey around. 5-4-3-2-1 load up the dishwasher.
5-4-3-2-1 – click the Send button and reply to Ric.
Hey Dave, Yeah agreed it really does! I think many times we just need to get out of our own heads and stop overthinking things! 5-4-3-2-1, hit reply to Dave! Best, Rick