This is How to Resolve Group Conflicts Like a Pro

This week’s video will discuss how you can resolve group conflicts.

Guidelines for Reacting to Group Conflicts

Many times group conflicts come from the behavior of one or more members of the group.  Some of the classic types of problematic behavior are:

  Slacker group member (lazy, doesn’t contribute etc.)
  Dominating group member (doesn’t stop talking, over-controlling personality)
  Argumentative group member
  Tardy group member
  Hostile group member
  Passive group member
  Inept group member (inability to perform needed work)
  Offensive group member (language, behavior, they smell – BO).

There are 5 ways you can deal with a problematic group member who is causing group conflicts:

(1)  Do nothing (non-intervention)

Doing nothing is generally a bad way to proceed. It sets the stage for increasingly dysfunctional behavior on the part of the difficult group member.

For example, there are 5 college students sharing a house and there is one roommate who is a total slob.

Doing nothing would let the roommate continue being a slob making everyone else more resentful and hating him or her.

(2)  Off-line privately delivered I-message (minimal intervention)

Remember what an I-message is…

A typical format for an “I” message is: “I feel (your emotional state) when (the condition(s) that creates your emotional state)” because it makes me think that (your emotional response to the other person’s behavior), please (what you would like to see changed).

For the slob roommate example, the i-message would be.

Example: I feel pissed off when you leave your crap all over the place because it makes me feel that I am your maid, please clean up after yourself in the future.

(3)  On-line delivered We-message (low intervention)

For the slob roommate example, the we-message would be.

Example: We feel pissed off when you leave your crap all over the place because it makes us feel that we are your maids, please clean up after yourself in the future.

(4)  On-line we-message with consequences (medium intervention)

For the slob roommate example, the we-message would be.

Example: We feel pissed off when you leave your crap all over the place because it makes us feel that we are your maids, please clean up after yourself in the future

Or else there will be consequences.

If this slob asks what the consequences will be, you can tell them it’s none of your damn business, do it and you will find out.

(5)  Expulsion from the group (Do not use this option if at all possible!)

Expulsion from a group is a severe option and carries unknown consequences for the difficult employee and the team members. It is difficult to foresee how expelling a team member may play out years in the future.

In the slob roommate case, expulsion would be kicking him out of the house.  The problem is you never know where he may show up in your life.  Who knows he may end up marrying your sister.

Use it or Lose It:

  Figure out which of the 5 methods for dealing with a problematic group member that is causing group conflicts works best for the group.

When to Use It:

  When you are having to deal with group conflicts.

What Do You Think?

  Can you think of any examples where you could have used this in the past? Please discuss in the comments below.

Until next time, behave and as always…Prime Your Pump!
–Howie

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