Executive Presence: How to Act, Speak & Look Like a Leader

Contrary to what you may believe, belonging to one of America’s fabled political families does not always guarantee that you will have executive presence.

A great example would be Caroline Kennedy, who is the daughter of former U.S. President, John F. Kennedy, whose attempt to follow her father and uncle into the Senate ended 2 months after it began in December 2008.

Though she dropped out for “personal reasons”, many believe that much of it can be attributed to the humiliation she endured from the media.

In an article that appeared in the Guardian:

“But (Caroline) Kennedy has made what could most kindly be described as a stumbling start to her campaign. Taking pride of place for her detractors is a two-and-a-half-minute interview doing the rounds on YouTube in which she rolls out that annoying phrase “y’know” no fewer than 30 times. The verbal tic crops up 144 times in a transcript of an interview published by the New York Times.” ²

Using filler words like “umm”, “like”, and “y’know” can definitely hinder your executive presence and likely contributed to her downfall.

So, what exactly is executive presence?

A Heady Combination of Confidence, Poise, Authenticity…

…is how author Sylvia Ann Hewlett in her book Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success defines executive presence.

It not only lets us know that we are in the presence of someone who is the real deal – but it is difficult to attain a top job, close an important deal, or command a significant following without it.

Executive presence has nothing to do with your performance on the job or whether you have conquered your goals or had a breakthrough idea. Rather it is an indicator of your image and that you have what it takes.

Do You Act Like a Leader? Speak a Leader? Look Like a Leader?

In her book, Hewlett believes that executive presence rests on three pillars, which we will discuss in more detail in the following section:

(1)  Gravitas – how you act

(2)  Communication – how you speak

(3)  Appearance – how you look

What’s interesting is that these pillars are not equal and it’s not even close according to the 268 senior executives that she surveyed. Gravitas came out on top as 67% of the respondents said it is what really matters, next came communication at 28%, and finally, appearance at a mere 5%.

At one point in time, a strong personality and mighty presence such as those embodied by Jack Welch of G.E. or Virgin’s Richard Branson may have marked someone as a leader. Now, Hewlett points out that, “…in the wake of the financial crisis, the ability to appear calm, confident, and steady in the face of an economic storm is far more important.” ¹

There is no doubt that when you have executive presence, you appear confident and you are able to communicate your views clearly.

While executive presence may come naturally to some, it can be learned and practiced until it becomes second nature.

The Three Pillars of Executive Presence – Gravitas, Communication, Appearance

In this section, we will go into a bit more detail into each of the 3 pillars of executive presence and share some ideas on how to improve each.

(1)  Gravitas – How You Act

As we saw earlier in the survey of senior executives, gravitas is what tells the world that you have what it takes and can handle serious responsibility.  But what exactly is gravitas?

Gravitas is a combination of carrying yourself with a sense of authority while still projecting integrity. It is about being calm and cool under pressure and being able to speak and act from a place of clarity. This is the type of behavior that instills the confidence of others in times of crisis.

It is being able to be decisive and make decisions when the moment demands it, but being able to choose those moments with care.

Those with gravitas are able to challenge authority but as Hewlett says, “…when you challenge authority, you’re coming from a core of unshakeable values. Anything less and your actions will be perceived as insubordination and/or arrogance—the opposites of gravitas.” ¹

Emotional intelligence, which we discussed at length several weeks ago, is another element to gravitas and it is being able to recognize and understand your and others’ emotions to manage both your behavior and your relationships.

Some Insights to Deepen Your Gravitas

  Be mindful of your body language to project an aura of confidence in your ability and knowledge.
  Make eye contact with others to show your attention is focused on them.
  Don’t keep checking your phone in a meeting.
  When you see someone in the hall, make eye contact, and smile.
  When you walk into a room, make eye contact, shake hands firmly.
  Give credit to others who deserve it.
  Don’t claim to know more than you do, stick to what you know.
  Show humility.
  Smile!

(2)  Communication – How You Speak

Now that we have reviewed gravitas or how you act, it is time to look at how your verbal skills impact your executive presence.

Remember that when it comes to verbal skills, it isn’t only when you are giving a formal presentation that they are being evaluated, you are always on stage!

As Hewlett says, “communication is not so much what you say but rather how you say it.” ¹

Using proper grammar is extremely important as sounding uneducated can undermine your gravitas. Your tone should be enthusiastic and professional while showing passion and interest in your subject.

As far as your voice quality itself, it is important to speak loudly enough but not too loudly. Sometimes people speak way too fast which makes it hard to understand, so make sure to keep a moderate pace. Also make sure to add pauses to accentuate important ideas and to vary your voice so you don’t sound monotonous.

Some Insights to Polish Your Communication Skills

  Get rid of verbal crutches and fillers such as “um’, “like”, “you know” etc. as they get in the way of you and your message as we saw in the introduction.
  Broaden your horizons for small talk. This is all about reading or getting up to date with more of what’s going on so you can be a more interesting conversationalist.
  Overprepare so that you will be more prepared than you need to be which will make it easier for you to speak up.
  Try to ensure your body language remains strong to help you weather tough situations by sitting tall with your spine and head straight.

(3)  Appearance – How You Look

While the senior executives that Hewlett surveyed said that appearance is not that important (as only 5% said it is what really matters) – it should not be ignored!

As Hewlett advises, “Over the long haul, the way you look may not be nearly as important as what you say or how you act, but it’s incredibly important in the short run. Cracking the appearance code opens doors and puts you in play.” ¹

The important thing to remember regarding appearance is that you want it to make your audience focus on your professional abilities rather than distracting from them.

You will always want to look well groomed and neat while dressing appropriately for the situation and those present. Your clothes should be clean, pressed and fit well. Having an unkempt look will get you noticed in all the wrong ways so hair should be taken care of and well-groomed. Your look also includes the physical space that you occupy, i.e. your office – so make sure it fits the image you wish to exude.

Some Insights to Improve Your Appearance

  Consider getting professional help. Some of us aren’t great with fashion, so one suggestion is to hire an image consultant, personal stylist or personal shopper to help spare you some costly blunders.
  Make sure that you look appropriate for your audience. A sundress and open-toe shoes may work well for brunch with your friends but not so much at a serious business meeting.
  Be mindful of bangles and bling as jewelry may bring more attention to itself than the message you are trying to convey.
  When in doubt get help from a friend that has a vested interest in you.
  Hewlett advises to “ask your superiors for feedback on your attire, hairstyle, and grooming. Provide assurance that you will receive their observations and suggestions not as fault-finding but as constructive guidance and dig deep to ensure you understand how to correct your gaffes. Live up to your promise by listening rather than reacting defensively.” ¹

 In My Opinion, The Best Advice She Gives…

…is to solicit feedback from others. Many of us are too invested and it is hard to gauge our own executive presence. And what’s true is as Hewlett says, “unvarnished, concrete feedback on your appearance, communication skills, and gravitas is hard to come by. It’s especially hard if you’re female, though your chances improve slightly with a same-sex boss.” ¹

It’s not always easy to give or receive but as she says, “you as a rising star must learn to become better at eliciting, receiving, and acting on criticism.” ¹ Remember, asking for advice doesn’t mean you have to follow it; not all input is valuable; be choosy!

How to Get the Executive Presence Feedback You Need

Hewlett suggests the following tactics:

  Know when you need it and be realistic.
  Develop a thicker skin, be less sensitive to criticism.
  Ask for specific, timely, prescriptive feedback often.
  If your superiors won’t give you actionable feedback, consider getting a coach.
  Ask your mentors for advice.
  While you may not agree, listen for ‘the ring of truth’ in a comment.
  Act on the feedback you have been given.
  Get clarity if the feedback is vague.

Maybe Using Filler Words Runs in the Family?

The same Guardian article compared Caroline’s communication gaffes with that of her uncle Ted:

“The unimpressive political debut has been compared to the disastrous interview her uncle Ted Kennedy gave in 1979. Amid many “ums” and “ahs” he failed to come up with a convincing answer as to why he wanted to be president. As a result, Ted Kennedy’s campaign stalled before it had begun.” ²

Well, y’know, whether or not filler words, um, run in the family, who knows…what’s, um, true is that you probably want to limit them to, um, ensure your executive presence is on point!

And, um, on that note, it’s time to end this, um, blog post!

Until next time, keep, um, improving your executive presence and as always…PYMFP!
–Rick

P.S. Wanna know more? Check out the entire book.

Use it or Lose It

Use the advice above as necessary to improve your executive presence. If you enjoyed this post and really want to work on your executive presence I highly recommend Hewlett’s book as she goes into much more detail than I was able to in this blog post.

When to Use It

When you want to improve your executive presence.

What Do You Think?

What do you think of these tips to improve your executive presence? Do you have any others that we didn’t mention? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!

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References

¹ Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success

² https://www.theguardian.com/news/blog/2008/dec/30/caroline-kennedy-interviews