Being Present: This is Why You and I Need to Go For a Walk
I’ve done a lot of thinking recently about the concept of being present, or simply living in the moment and not thinking about the past or the future.
And I must admit that like many of you, I sometimes struggle with being present. However, I am taking steps to get better at being present.
Speaking of steps, I think I am going to go for a walk. I’ve heard that going for a walk is a good way to focus on being present.
Care to join me?
Ok, great, let’s go!
What a gorgeous day it is. Let’s pick up the pace a bit, you are dragging your feet!
Hang on, let’s slow down for a minute, I just got a text from a friend.
Interesting – she knows that I am in the process of writing a blog post on being present and just sent me an article. Listen to this! Apparently, there was a study done at Rutgers University in New Jersey which showed that students who are checking their cell phones for non-academic purposes during lectures have seen a negative impact on their grades at the end of the semester. According to the study, students who used laptops, tablets, and phones during lectures saw lower final exam scores by at least 5 percent.
Not only did it affect the students in the class who had devices, it also affected the grades of students in the class who were not using devices! I guess we can call it ‘not being present by association.’
Wait, what’s that you say? I’m not being present by checking my cell phone when I am on a walk with you? You know something? You are exactly right…
I need to shut off my phone when I am with others. Next time I will just leave it at home.
Thanks for holding me accountable. Let’s take a right on this street…
Have you noticed that many of the drivers in the cars passing by us are either texting and driving or on their phones when they should be focused on the road?!?! Did you know that studies have been done that show texting and driving is more dangerous than drinking and driving? So, I completely agree with you when you say…
‘Put your cell phones down when driving, be present and focus on the road!’
Nothing on that damn phone is so important that you need to risk your life and the lives of others by being on it. Cell phones, as we have already seen, are a big culprit for people not being present. And it won’t be the last time we mention them in this post.
Oh hey, there’s my friend Michelle, let’s go say hi to her, I will introduce you to her.
I’m glad you enjoyed meeting her, and I agree with you – she is awesome. Sounds like she had a great time at the Britney Spears concert the other night. You do make a great point however, the fact that she didn’t get any work done the day before shows she wasn’t being present at work because all she was thinking about was the concert. It’s a great example of why it’s important to…
Focus on what is happening now.
Instead of wishing away the time until something happens because you are so excited for it to happen. The problem is that you are wasting the here and now and not being in the moment. Speaking of that did you know that there is a study out of Harvard that shows that almost half of our waking hours are not spent living in the moment?
Ok, slow down please, I said pick up the pace A BIT, no need to go to a full sprint on me!
You say we need to stop because you have a meeting. And you want me to accompany you? I guess so, I suppose we can do that.
Well, that was an hour of my life I will never get back! Why didn’t you tell me it was a timeshare sales pitch so that you could get free tickets to Disney? And the fact that you didn’t invite me to go see Mickey with you? Cool, not cool!
Getting back to the present…Yes, I did notice that most of the people who were there were on their cell phones throughout the meeting instead of paying attention to the crap that the salesperson was spewing. It is something I have noticed a lot in the business world, it seems that no matter what company I am at, people are constantly on their cell phones during meetings.
Let’s take a left here, I know a cool little coffee shop where we can grab a coffee. Just a minute, that girl on the street wants to talk to me. Let’s stop and see what she wants.
Wow, I had a hard time focusing on what she was saying with that ferret on her shoulder
Wait, what?!?!?! What do you mean I just agreed to give $100 to PETA? Damn! I guess I wasn’t being present by saying yes to someone without even knowing what the hell they were saying! I’m sure I am not the first person to say yes to something that they weren’t paying attention to!
Ok, time for some coffee.
Hang on, isn’t that… former President Bill Clinton over there. You know him? Yes, of course, I would like to meet him.
That was pretty cool. Politics aside, it really is true what people say about him in terms of how he is so good at being present. I know a few people who have met him and they all say that he has an amazing ability for being present. I think it has to do with the fact that his eye contact and focus is on only you, which makes you feel like you are the only person in the world.
Alright, that’s enough walking for one day.
Thanks so much for going on that walk with me, you have really given me some good stuff to think about. I need to finish this blog post.
Let’s check in again at the end of the post, ok?
What is Being Present?
Being present is all about living in the moment.
A synonym for being present is mindfulness which is defined as ‘the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis; also: such a state of awareness’. 1
It is being fully focused and aware of what is going on and blocking out everything else.
Some Examples of Not Being Present
Some examples of not being present include those from the story above, and others, such as:
Reminiscing about the past instead of the present.
Thinking about the future instead of the present.
Engaging with your cell phone when driving, when in a conversation with others, or during a meeting.
Saying yes to someone without knowing what you have agreed to because your mind is somewhere else.
Being on your phone during a meeting or while you are with someone.
Thinking about something else while in a conversation.
Letting your mind wander when you are supposed to be focused on a task.
How many of these can you identify with personally? Do you find having a hard time being present sometimes? Do you see others failing to be present when they are with you? How does it make you feel?
Why Do We Have Such a Hard Time Being Present?
There are many reasons we have such a hard time being present:
Our brains are so used to multi-tasking that we have a hard time focusing on one thing at a time.
There are so many distractions in our life, such as our cell phones and social media.
We are not only interrupted often, we let ourselves be interrupted.
It seems like we are overwhelmed with so many things going on in our lives – from work to kids to friends to extra-curricular activities.
Ways to Become More Present – Use it or Lose It
There are a few things we can do to improve our ability for being present or to bring some mindfulness into our lives, such as:
Go for a walk and leave your cell phone behind and really engage your senses. What do you – see? hear? feel? smell? Just take some time to take everything in.
Learn some deep breathing exercises. When you find yourself not being present, simply close your eyes and take a deep breath and notice the change in your state.
Learn to exercise some self-control with your cell phone:
Turn it off or better yet don’t bring it to meetings.
Put it away when you are out with a friend
Do not text and drive! Firstly, it is now illegal in most places. Secondly, you cannot be focused on the road and your phone at the same time. It is not worth it!
Try having a full day with no cell phone or electronics – can you do it?
Practice active listening, instead of thinking what you are going to say next, really listen to the person you are with.
Take time for reflection every day and just enjoy being in the moment
Stop thinking about the past (which has already happened) and the future (which isn’t a guarantee) and simply enjoy the moment and enjoy the process.
Try practicing mindfulness meditation or yoga. On a personal note, the one thing meditation has helped me with is to be able to bring my thoughts back to where they should be once they drift off – which really is what being present is all about.
When to Use It:
Anytime you feel disconnected and not being present.
What Do You Think?
Do you find you have a hard time being present? Do you employ any other strategies other than the ones we have discussed above?
So, how did you like this post?
WHAT?
You want me to repeat what I just said because you weren’t listening to me as you were thinking about something else? Geesh and you impressed me so much with your ability for being present during our walk!
What could be so important that you were not paying attention to me?
OH, well in that case…I totally understand and hell, no one is perfect!
The fact that you were not being present because you were so excited about reading tomorrow’s Prime Your Pump blog post does not make you a bad person, it just makes you a person who is not being present!
Until next time, work on being present and as always…PYMFP!
–Rick
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References
https://www.thequint.com/hotwire-text/checking-phones-during-lectures-can-affect-grades
Great topic . Focusing is difficult for many . Walking , yoga and breathing exercises are good examples that serve to relieve stress and help regain focus. Thanks Eileen
This is a hard one for me. I start off doing well, but as the day goes on and the information piles up, I start to lose focus on the moment. Most of the time, it’s because I’m focused on deadlines that are quickly approaching. This week, I’ll try the breathing exercises to counteract the loss of focus.
Hi Zoe, agreed, staying focused is tough. I have an upcoming blog post next week on how to stay focused – so, stay tuned! Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting! Rick
Good information, thank you!
Thanks Debbie!
Wonderful advice. This has some great tips for communicating with my drivers. I sometimes get overwhelmed with so many questions that I forget what I was asked. I can use these tips to take a step back and clear my mind and focus on being in the moment.
Hi Delbra, Thank you! Glad you have figured out how to apply it, that’s half the battle! Enjoy your weekend! Rick
Awesome blog! I definitely am a person who lives in the moment. However, my work is very fast paced and I am always on the phone. I find myself not really focusing on the people that come into my office. There are times I have had to ask them to repeat what they said. You gave some very good tools that I will put to practice in my daily occurrences at work. Eye contact is probably the one that I need to work on the most. Thanks for the great tips!!
Hi Autumn, Thank you, you are most welcome. You will get there! Let me know how it goes! Have a great weekend, Rick
Great information. you know the whole world is wrapped up in exactly what you are talking about and I am right in the middle of it. i need to start practicing not looking at my phone every time it makes a sound. thanks for bringing this to my attention. I am going to start to day staying focused on staying in the moment.
Hi Bubba, thanks for the comment, happens to me too sometimes and I need to catch myself! Have a great weekend, Rick
Really great advice! I see people all the time who are sooo wrapped up in there cell phone that they don’t pay attention to their surroundings nor to the people who they may be engaging conversations with.I have really curbed my cell phone use when i am out an about or with people because i want to pay attention! This may be extreme,but i would love to see everybody’s cell phone disabled (Except for first responders and doctors/medical equiptment) for 1 hour and sit back and observe the CHAOS!!!! LOL!
Hi Robert, thanks for the great comment! I love your idea of disabling people’s cell phone, that would be a phenomenal social experiment!!! Thanks and take Care, Rick
Great advice about being present and living in the moment. I spend much of my time in the shoulda, woulda, coulda zone and know it’s only a waste of time. I aiso disconnect from my cell as much as possible after work and on the weekends.
Thanks, Mark! The fact that you are aware of being in the shoulda, woulda, coulda zone is the first step to getting out of it, good stuff! Thanks for reading and take care, Rick
I enjoyed reading this . And I do use some of the message that was talked about in this article. I don’t worry about the pass.And don’t worry about the future. I live for the moment. And I never take my cell phone to a meeting.And there are times I do struggle with being in the present. And when that happens I go off to a quiet place by myself to get focus.
Hi Donna, Great points – the past is over and we can’t change it. Good for you for living in the moment and for keeping your cell phone away from your meetings. Thanks for reading and commenting! Rick
I like to take walks around our building when I feel overwhelmed and let my mind soak things in or calm me. It’s always a great time to think and get fresh air. I do not take my cell phone with me and I usually leave it behind when in a meeting. I need to make a better effort in thinking about the present and future.
Hi Kristi, that’s awesome that you do that. I love walking to clear my mind and get present too. Thanks for reading and for the comment, Rick
This is a good blog! I often struggle with being in the present on a daily task. I will definitely try practicing mindful meditation.
Thanks Cynthia! I meditate first thing every day. THere are a couple apps you may want to try: Headspace and Calm – both pretty good! Take Care, Rick
A very good presentation. Wait a moment, what did you say? Just kidding!!
Walking is good for both the body and the soul. I leave the truck in the bank parking lot to use the ATM, then walk to the post office and back. Then drive to the grocery store and park, where I can visit the hardware store, the drug store, and before they went out of business, radio shack. Groceries are last on the list because of perishables. When I walk, I check out the people, cars, dogs, weird looking plants, sometimes a window display, maybe an old building being renovated. My mind also wanders but so far it has always returned.
I do not own a cell phone, have no use for one. My porta-phone, as I term it, is an old star trek style flip phone. Incoming and outgoing calls only, no video, no chat board, no text capability. I do not need any of that stuff. A phone is just that – a phone, not an extension of my laptop. Funny (but true) story – one day while walking, I bumped into a former co-worker of my wife’s. We chatted a bit, then she asked me “what’s her phone number? I should call her and get caught up.” I answered immediately “5”, as that’s the pre-programmed button I push to call her. What her actual phone number is…..I have not the slightest idea.
Similarly, my daughter is “2”. I’m sure there is some convoluted sequence of button pushing to determine what actual phone numbers are linked to “5” and “2”, but I have absolutely no idea of how to do it. The phone belonged to my favorite CYT previously, I inherited it when she bought a cell phone, and she programmed the numbers for me. So I need to remember only two digits.
Sometimes when I’m out, I carry the phone in a pants pocket, but it’s not turned on. And sometimes when we are out together, she will ask me “do you have your phone”? I will say ‘No”, to which she replies “why not?” The obvious answer becomes “I do not need it, I am here with you.”
People have survived without cell phones for thousands of years. Maybe I’m living in the wrong century.
Thanks as always Dave! I am a big fan of walking too, it’s good exercise, gives me time to think and like you observe what’s going on around me. My Dad is the same when it comes to cell phone and has the same attitude as you do, so I get you, different generations I suppose. I like the ‘5’ and the ‘2’ – talk about simplifying things, very smart. Be good, Rick