How to Learn About Active Listening Skills From a Rhymin’ Farmer

15
Feb 2018

Today’s advice column will revolve around ‘active listening’ and how to be a better listener.

You will be introduced to a quirky old farmer named Ted McDonald aka Rhymin’ Ted who literally speaks only in rhymes. Rhymin’ Ted reaches out to Rick for advice as he is experiencing some marital issues.

active listening

On to the story…

Howdy Rick!

It’s been a long time since we commun-i-cated,
Sayin’ that I miss ya would be un-der-stated.

Greetins’ from the Buckeye State,
Hope all’s well and that yer doin’ great!

I know yer always in a busy place,
So enough with the pleasantries, let’s cut to the chase.

I’ve been havin’ more fights than usual with the Mrs.,
Which has sadly resulted in my gettin’ a lot less kisses.

My wife says my listenin’ skills are really, really bad,
So, any advice that you could give would make me extremely glad.

I already have enough stress dealin’ with the craziness of my farm,
The last thing I need to do is cause my marriage irreversible harm.

I would really love to turn her obvious anger into bliss,
Ok it’s time for me to go as I need to take a giant piss.

Yee-haw!

Thank ya!
Ted McDonald

 

Hey Rhymin’ Ted,

Good to hear from you. Looks like you need to learn about active listening or should I say, ‘active listenin’.  Go to the library and get some books on it and let me know how it goes.

Take Care,

Rick

 

Howdy Rick!

I did a bunch of research on active listenin’ as you suggested,
Many hours of my life at the library were very wisely invested.

I will provide a little summary of what I learned below,
I think my wife would surely agree that now I listen like a pro.

The first thing I learned is to look at her and make eye contact while she is talkin’,
The fact that I’m focused on her will let her know I’m serious which to her may be a little shockin’.

Next, I need to mirror her body language to build up some good rapport,
And at the same time show her empathy so I know what she is feelin’ in her core.

I need to shut up and listen, let her talk and take her time,
Even if I get the urge to drop a stupid  rhyme.

If at any point things aren’t clear and I don’t know what the hell she’s talkin’ about,
I need to ask her to explain things so I can end this copulation drought.

Another thing I need to do is to restate or paraphrase what she has said,
That way she knows I’m listenin’ to her and not just thinkin’ about gettin’ head.

I should observe her body language to make sure her verbal and non-verbal communication match,
If I notice any differences I’ll adjust to any inconsistencies that I catch.

The last thing I learned was to be open-minded and not judge whatever bs she was sayin’,
Just try to see her point of view and understand what she’s conveyin’.

In a nutshell that is what I learned about active listenin’ based on your advice,
It worked so well and she was so happy that in the last 3 days I’ve got laid not once but twice!

Sadly being out of the doghouse did not last very long,
And I’m really truly sorry if this sounds like another country music song.

I’m hopin’ you have some advice to help with the latest reason she thinks I’m a jerk,
I always forget to put the toilet seat up and it drives her completely berserk!

Thank ya!
Ted McDonald

 

Hey Rhymin’ Ted,

Glad to hear you were able to use active listening to improve your relationship with your wife, good job!

See our blog post on moron proofing to see if you can figure out a solution to your leaving the toilet seat up issue.

Take Care,

Rick

P.S.  Do you have any words of inspiration for our readers who may be a little down in the dumps like you were before you found our blog?

 

Howdy Rick!

I’d be happy to give some parting words to your readers as we go our separate ways,
Just remember the words of wisdom below when you feel like you have seen better days.

When all in your life seems lost and you feel like you are at your wit’s end,
Simply turn on your laptop or pick up your phone and go to the blog that’s always there like a good friend.

Stop feelin’ sorry for yourself and get up off your big, fat rump,
Because it’s time to kick some ass and Prime Your Motherf’in Pump!

Thank Ya!
Ted McDonald

Use It or Lose It!

To utilize active listening:

  Look at the person while they are talking and making eye contact, so they know you are listening.

  Mirror their body language, which is a good way to build rapport with anyone.

  Showing empathy while listening – try to listen and understand what they are feeling.

  Don’t talk, just listen – be silent until they are done talking.

  Clear up things you don’t understand – ask them to explain things that aren’t clear.  You can also restate or paraphrase what they have said to confirm understanding.

  Observe their body language – look for cues to understand better what and how they are communicating and whether there are any inconsistencies between their verbal and non-verbal communication.

  Be focused – stop doing anything else, put your phone down and concentrate on them with your undivided attention.

  Stop thinking about what you are going to say next and simply listen to them.

  Try to listen to learn, ask questions or make comments when appropriate.

  Be open-minded, don’t judge what they are saying and try to see their point of view, this goes along with the showing of empathy.

When to Use Active Listening

  Always! Listenin’ is an important skill.

  When you find that you are thinking about what to say next rather than listening to the person you are with

Discuss 

  What do you guys think about active listening?  Do you find a lot of people need to hone this skill?

 

Thanks for reading and until next time, remember…PYMFP!
 – Rick

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Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/attention-couples-becoming-a-skilled-listener-and-effective-speaker/  
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/14/9-steps-to-better-communication-today/ 
http://dating.lovetoknow.com/Relationships_Listening_Skills  
http://www.professional-counselling.com/relationship_communication.html
http://www.wealthylovelife.com/effective-listening-skills.html#.WZ7C3LpFyhc

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