This is What Being Authentic Means to Me

I was in the locker room at the gym the other day after my workout.  As I was changing into my swimsuit to hit the sauna, a man who I would put in his late 70s swaggered past me on his way from the shower. Buck-ass naked with everything and I mean EVERYTHING hanging out, not a care in the world…

What happened next, which we will come back to later in this post, reminded me of the correct way we should all be interpreting a phrase I have been hearing a lot of lately.

In fact, it’s a phrase I have been hearing so much of that it is starting to get on my nerves.

It is something that many people are striving to be and to have, as well as something they idolize in others.

The phrase I am talking about?

Being authentic

Please understand, it’s not the phrase itself that irks me as much as the way people are using it.

Before I go any further – how about we define the word authentic…

According to dictionary.com, authentic is defined as “not false or copied; genuine; real”

However, I feel like people are taking being authentic to mean standing out from the crowd – especially with the explosion of social media where everyone is trying to be different to get attention.

I don’t believe being authentic is something you can acquire, I believe it is something we ALL have.

Think about this, in a world of over 7 billion people, no two people:

  Look the same.
  Have the exact same thoughts.
  Share the same life experiences.
  Have the same personality…and so on.

If we are all so different, why do we want to focus on being any more different? Aren’t we different enough already?

To me, you are ALREADY authentic just the way you are.

So, by trying to stand out and be different than you already are, you are trying to be something that you are not. And that is not only not being authentic, but it is also being inauthentic.

The way I see being authentic is not about being different or standing out. Instead, it is all about…

Being consistent!

As in being the same person every day, with every person you meet, in every situation that you find yourself in.

What does that mean?

It means not changing who you are based on who you are with, or based upon the situation you are in.

It also means being consistent in your behaviors and how you conduct your life on a day to day basis.

Why is consistency so important?

There are 2 main reasons why I believe consistency is the key to being authentic:

(1) Trust

If I see someone who acts one way with me and another way with someone else, it makes me wonder who the hell they really are.

Are they faking it with me? Or are they faking it with the other person? (and I don’t mean women faking it when they are with me, that is another blog post for another time!)

Ultimately it makes me pause and ask myself a very important question:

Can I trust them?

 (2) It’s Easier to Deal with Them

Have you ever had a boss who acts one way one day, and another way the next day? I have – and I will be honest, it is not fun – in fact…it sucks!

The same thing goes with relationships – whether it is friendships, family, or romantic relationships – having someone who is inconsistent can be maddening!

In fact, not knowing what to expect from someone can REALLY screw with your head.

So, instead of trying to be authentic by standing out, I think we should instead try to be authentic by being consistent.

How Can We Be Authentic by Being More Consistent? – Use it Or Lose It

It all starts with not changing who you are for anyone or anything. It is being the same person regardless of who you are with or the situation you are in. In my opinion, there are many ways we can be the same, consistent person, such as by:

  Being confident in your abilities.
  Caring less about what others think.
  Doing what you think is right instead of what you think others want you to do.
  Being happy with who you are and loving yourself.
  Being yourself all the time.
  Not changing for anyone…but yourself.
  Not trying to be someone you are not.
  No longer competing with others unnecessarily.
  Doing the right thing according to your values.
  Practicing good habits on a consistent (daily) basis.
  Not overreacting to ‘random noise’ in your life.
  No longer looking up to people who are trying to stand out; instead look up to people who are consistent.
  Being self-aware.
  Being honest with others instead of sugar-coating stuff.

As I Said Earlier, it is Hard to Trust and Deal with Someone Who is Inconsistent…

Not knowing how someone is going to act or respond to you is very unsettling.

But, if you are going to be…

In a good mood, try to be in a good mood all the time, otherwise be in a bad mood all the time,

Someone that has a good sense of humor, try to have it all the time, otherwise be humorless,

Optimistic…try to be optimistic all the time, otherwise be pessimistic,

A great, supportive boss, try to be that way all the time, otherwise be a demanding jerk,

Nice…try to be nice all the time, otherwise just be an asshole all the time!

Of course, I would rather deal with someone who is consistently nice than someone who is consistently an asshole.

But if I had a choice between someone who is nice half the time and an asshole half the time OR someone who is an asshole all the time, I would actually take the latter.

Because I would rather know what I am getting 100% of the time rather than go through the mental torture of not knowing what to expect.  Then I could take the appropriate action by either removing myself from the situation or eliminating them from my life.  We all have our bad days and cannot be 100% positive every day or 100% nice all the time – but we can try and if people see you are trying to be consistent I believe they will give you the benefit of the doubt when you have an ‘off-day’.

I Realize That…

I am taking things to the extreme here and being a little idealistic and utopian, as no one can be 100% one way all the time.

The point I am trying to make is that if we try to be as consistent as possible then we are well on our way to being authentic…at least in my humble opinion.

Before We Go…Back to the Guy in the Locker Room…

So, this gentleman and I are making small talk as we are getting changed and all of a sudden, I smell something absolutely putrid.  Turns out he cut the cheese without giving me so much as a heads up.  It was so bad my eyes started to water. I’m a pretty up-front guy, so I looked at him, squinted my eyes, crinkled my nose and let out a loud ‘whew’.

At that moment he smirked, gave me a wink and said, ‘whoever smelt it, dealt it!”

I could have accused him of many things: eating too many beans, being rude, having GI issues, or being inconsiderate.

But the one thing I could not accuse him of was not being authentic!

Until next time, be consistent, watch out for silent but deadly assassins and as always…PYMFP!
–Rick

Use it or Lose It – Being Authentic

In my opinion, being authentic is simply being consistent and trying to be the same person every day.

When to Use It:

I believe we should always strive to be consistent in our actions.

What Do You Think?

What does being authentic mean to you? Do you agree or disagree with my definition? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

If you enjoyed this post, it would mean the world to us if you shared it with people you care about via any of the social media platforms below!

Popular Previous Posts:

This is Why You Shouldn’t Use Slogans Without Methods!
Here Lies You! How to Create a Personal Mission Statement
10 Habits of Successful People: On the Shoulders of Giants
Random Acts of Kindness: The Day I Met My Angel!
8 Amazing Memory Techniques You Won’t Soon Forget!