Fatherly Advice: 7 Amazing Things My Father Taught Me
This week’s video is about offbeat pieces of fatherly advice my father gave me.
In this video we will discuss the following pieces of fatherly advice:
(1) Advice on sex (circa 1962)
(2) How to deal with a bully.
(3) How to negotiate.
(4) How to move up in your job.
(5) How not to be disturbed: conceptualizing.
(6) How to deal with your kid’s problems.
(7) How to die right.
Ok, let’s get going!
(1) Age 14: 1962 advice on sex.
All girls are virgins, all boys aren’t. Just ask them, they will tell you.
Lesson: People lie about sex. Don’t judge yourself against others, be the best you can be.
(2) Age 16: How to deal with a bully.
Lesson: Sometimes you can’t ignore a bully. You must confront them over and over to stop their behavior.
(3) Age 25: How to negotiate.
Keep the room warm, serve drinks, don’t drink yourself. Wait for the same-sex person to go to the bathroom. While peeing, say what do you really want?
Lesson: When trying to negotiate with an adversary, use all the tricks up your sleeve. If a man is holding his Johnson in his hand, he is maximally vulnerable.
(4) Age 28: How to move up in your job.
Being prepared by knowing what questions they may ask and preparing questions yourself.
Lesson: Know what questions will be asked of you in your interview by talking to an expert on how to answer the obvious questions (tenure in my case).
(5) Age 36: How not to be disturbed.
My Dad was in his office and my Mom wanted him to play with the kids. He told her, “Don’t interrupt me. I am conceptualizing.”
Lesson: If you don’t want to be disturbed (legitimately), say you are in deep thought about a problem and can’t be interrupted or the idea will be lost. Be honest!
(6) Age 40: How to deal with kid’s problems.
Bought a motorcycle. Shop owner knew what was going on, but wanted the legitimate sale. I put 5,000 miles on the bike. My brother ratted me out and my Dad ended up calling the shop owner for a complete refund. He said no. My Dad called the President of the bank the shop owner had his line of credit with. The bank pulled his credit line. He took back my used bike with a full refund.
Lesson: Who is at fault: the individual (me – attractive nuisance) or the system (shop owner who should have known better)?
(7) Age 68: Wink on his deathbed.
Just before my father died, I was holding his toes, and he winked at me. The wink said a 1,000 words.
Lesson: Everything will be alright. I have done my work well, you are ready for me to leave.
Use It or Lose It to Make It Actionable – Fatherly Advice
Take notes from people that give you life lessons. Review them over the years. Add to them. Pass them along to the next generation.
When to Use It:
Start now! The longer you wait the less you will remember.
What Do You Think?
Can you add any offbeat fatherly advice from your father? Please share in the comments below.
Until next time, behave and as always…Prime Your Pump!
–Howie
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Wow! You are on fire this Friday. Once again my wife listened in (hope you don’t mind that) and afterwards we had a discussion on item 6. More on that later, So here’s our take on the 7 items:
1) My Dad’s advice was quite simple – avoid any girl with an X in her name, like Roxy or Trixie. I think he spoke from experience here, having worked for a while as a merchant seaman in the 1920”s. So there was this girl in high school named Maxine. She may have been friendly, may have been easy to talk with, and we may have gotten along. But I will never know.
2) We dealt differently with bullies in the west Bronx. You fought it out, not with guns and knives, but with fists. I had two instances, came out on top in one fight (I may have cheated a bit, tried to put the bully’s head through a brick wall),on the other we agreed to call it a draw. I do have a knife wound scar, but that’s a totally unrelated situation. Yeah, life in the Bronx was tough.
3) I took an elective class in college on business negotiations. The men’s room situation never got mentioned. “What do I really want? Right now I want to finish peeing.”
4) A good buddy of mine from the Bronx (he was best man at our wedding) opted for the legal profession. That in itself leads to some strange stories. But one thing he told me was “never ask a question (in court) that you don’t already know the answer to”. The same principle applies in reverse for job interviews and salary negotiations.
5) I always made time to get down on the floor and play with the kid. Card games, board games, stuffed animals, whatever. And I have to admit, interacting with Amy when she was young took priority over darn near everything else. If I was doing something else, I told her “you go ahead and get set up, and I will be there in 10 minutes”.
6) On this one, we have to disagree. Amy wanted her own TV when she was about 13 or so. Rather than just flat out saying NO, we told her that if she wants the TV, she has to pay for it herself. So Amy saved her baby sitting money, the money from grandma on Christmas and birthdays; and when she saved enough, bought a TV. So your situation begs some questions – did you have enough money to buy the bike outright? Had you taken a motorcycle safety course? Were you wearing a helmet when riding? And we consider your father’s solution to be extortion. Sorry to be so blunt.
7) My Dad died in New Mexico at age 91. I was not present. His bodily systems were shutting down, and I think he realized that it was time. He passed away peacefully, and outlived 9 out of 10 of his siblings.
One other piece of advice I received – never buy anything on credit, always pay cash. I have followed that bit for 50 years – cars, appliances, house mods – all paid by check. Dad never owned a credit card. Our only time payment was the mortgage, which we paid off early. Basically, if you do not have the money, you do not need whatever it is. If I wanted another truck, I’d take the checkbook and start making the rounds of the car lots.