This is How to Break Bad Habits By Untangling Them

Do your shoelaces come untied often? It is a more common problem than you think and believe it or not, scientists have actually studied why it happens. I, on the other hand, have a different problem and it’s a bit of a weird one. For whatever reason, a few years ago I had enough with untied running shoes, so I started tying triple knots and tied them VERY tight.  It solved the problem of my shoes coming untied, but it created a new problem.

Usually, I am able to untie them fine, but there many times for whatever reason, they end up in a knot.  I then spend a few minutes frustratingly trying to untangle them. I know what you are saying, ‘just use another knot dumbass!’ While that is the obvious solution, and I have done it a few times, the problem is a bit deeper than that. You see, I have been tying my shoes like this for so long, I don’t even think about it when I do it – it has become a habit. And a bad habit that I would need to break – which is the subject of today’s post, how to break bad habits. Back to how I solved my problem a bit later.

In a recent popular blog post, “This is How I Used Habit Stacking to Make My Bed”, we discussed how to create a new habit by using a method called ‘habit stacking’. Interestingly, the process of how to break bad habits is quite a bit different than the one used to create new habits.

The cool thing is that we can use our understanding of how to create new habits in our quest in how to break bad habits.

But before we talk about how to break bad habits, we quickly need to review what we know about behavior and behavior change.

Recall that there are 3 things…

…that need to occur simultaneously for a behavior to change according to the ‘Fogg Behavior Model’ of Stanford professor B.J. Fogg:

Motivation

Or how much you want to do something.

Ability

Next is your ability to perform the behavior. The easier it is for you to perform the habit, the more likely it is that you will do it. Conversely, the harder it is for you to perform the habit, the more likely it is that you will not do it.

If you think about it, there is a trade-off between motivation and ability.  The harder it is to do something, the more you will need to motivate yourself to do it. Which is the only reason for motivation in our lives – to help us do things that are difficult. The problem is this, if your motivation is not there, you are not going to do it.

Since habits are about repeating behaviors, that is why it is hard to turn difficult things into habits. But if the new habit we create isn’t hard, we will need less motivation to do it, making us more likely to do it.

Now that we understand the motivation and ability parts of Fogg’s equations, let move to the final part of the formula, which is the…

Trigger

This is the cue or the prompt that causes you to perform the behavior. The trigger could be an item on your calendar, a reminder on your phone, a post-it-note, a friend inviting you to go out for ice cream.

So, remember, B = mat

Where your behavior is driven by a combination of your motivation to do it, your ability to do it and a trigger that prompts you to do it.

Now that we have reviewed the 3 components that need to be present for a behavior to change, let’s look at some strategies we can utilize for how to break bad habits.

Strategy #1 – See if you can get rid of the trigger

The first and easiest way for how to break a habit is to simply get rid of the trigger. Think about it, if the trigger which causes you to perform the behavior is eliminated, you won’t do it!

If you don’t know what the trigger is, there are a few questions you can ask yourself to help you identify it: ¹

  What time is it?
  Where are you?
  Who are you with/who else is around?
  What did you just do?
  What emotion are you feeling?

Let’s look at a real-life example of how to remove a trigger:
You want to stop smoking and realize that you only smoke when you go to bars. To remove the trigger, you need to stop going to bars.

Sometimes, it is impossible for you to get rid of the trigger. Let’s say you want to stop checking Facebook on your phone first thing as it puts you in reactive mode for the day. You can’t throw out your phone, so removing the trigger is not the solution.

Which means it is time to try out…

Strategy #2 – See if you can make it harder to do.

Recall the ability component of Fogg’s Behavior Model above.  The easier it is for you to perform the habit, the more likely it is that you will do it. Conversely, the harder it is for you to perform the habit, the more likely it is that you will not do it.

Aha!

So, the idea here is to make it harder to perform the habit, so you are less likely to do it.

Let’s look at a real-life example of how to make things harder to do:
One way to stop checking Facebook on your phone in the morning is to simply delete the Facebook app from your phone. Or install an app that only allows you to use Facebook between certain hours. By doing either of these you have made it harder for you to check Facebook as soon as you wake up.

However, there are times when we cannot make something harder to do, which means it is time to try out…

Strategy #3 – See if you can de-motivate yourself to do it.

In terms of execution, this is the most difficult of the strategies we have presented thus far.  The suggestion here is to try to find a reason that is compelling enough for you to stop doing the bad habit. For example, Dr. Fogg was eating too much popcorn, but his dentist told him that it was really bad for his teeth, which was a compelling enough reason to de-motivate him from eating it.

Let’s look at a real-life example of how to de-motivate yourself to do something:

You want to stop eating ice cream – you have been unable to remove the trigger and you cannot force your roommates to stop buying it.  BUT you do have a wedding to go to in a few months and the last thing you want is to not be able to fit into the tuxedo or dress you have already been fitted for. So, in your case, that is enough to de-motivate you from eating the ice cream.

Okay, let’s say you can’t remove the trigger, you can’t make it harder to do, and you can’t seem to de-motivate yourself – should you lose all hope?

The answer is…NO!

We are not quitters here at Prime Your Pump, so do not waive the white flag yet! It is time to try…

Strategy #4 – Replace your current habit with a new one

So, the idea is to take your current habit and substitute it with another behavior that is a reasonable alternative.

How can you do this? Here are a few steps:

(1)  Figure out what itch your habit is scratching.

(2)  Then test that theory by substituting that habit with a new one.

(3)  If you are no longer itchy, you have replaced the habit.

(4)  If you are still itchy, you need to try a new habit until you find one that scratches the itch.

In other words, your habit is satisfying a certain craving, you need to figure out a new habit that you can perform to satisfy that craving.

Back to My Shoelace Fiasco

To make a long story short, I tried Strategy #1 to no avail. But using Strategy #2 did the trick! I made it impossible to get my laces tangled by getting running shoes with the patented ‘Salomon quicklace system’. Problem solved, plus they are really comfortable shoes.

By the way, there are a couple methods to my madness for using this seemingly stupid and elementary shoelace example:

(1)  People remember things that are uncommon and that stick out, so hopefully, my story will stick in your mind and will help you remember how to break your bad habits.

(2)  Speaking of breaking bad habits, Dr. Fogg prefers to use ‘untangle’ behaviors rather than breaking bad habits. The reason being is that they are usually things you need to untangle to figure out and not something you can just simply break.

Kind of like me trying to ‘untangle’ my shoelace problem.

Now, thanks to knowing how to break, ahem untangle bad habits, if someone asks me “do your shoelaces ever get tangled?”.

I simply respond by saying, ‘not!’

Until next time, keep untangling those bad habits and as always…PYMFP!
–Rick

Use It or Lose It – How To Break Bad Habits

For how to break bad habits (or untangle them), try the strategies below:

  #1 – See if you can get rid of the trigger.
  #2 – See if you can make it harder to do.
  #3 – See if you can de-motivate yourself to do it.
  #4 – Replace your current habit with a new one.

When to Use It:

When you want to untangle or break a bad habit.

What Do You Think?

Have you used any of these strategies for how to break bad habits? Can you think of a bad habit you want to break that you can try these strategies on? Please share in the comments below!

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References

1 https://charlesduhigg.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Flowchart-How-to-Change-a-Habit.pdf

http://jimkwik.com/kwik-brain-017/