This is How to Be More Present: The Future is Now!

I’ve done a lot of thinking recently about the concept of how to be more present, or simply living in the moment and not thinking about the past or the future.

And I must admit that like many of you, I sometimes struggle with being present. However, I am taking steps to get better at being present.

Speaking of steps, I think I am going to go for a walk. I’ve heard that going for a walk is a good way for how to be more present.

Care to join me?

Ok, great, let’s go!

What a gorgeous day it is. Let’s pick up the pace a bit, you are dragging your feet!

Hang on, let’s slow down for a minute, I just got a text from a friend.

Interesting – she knows that I am in the process of writing a blog post on how to be more present and just sent me an article.  Listen to this! Apparently, there was a study done at Rutgers University in New Jersey which showed that students who are checking their cell phones for non-academic purposes during lectures have seen a negative impact on their grades at the end of the semester.  According to the study, students who used laptops, tablets, and phones during lectures saw lower final exam scores by at least 5 percent.

Not only did it affect the students in the class who had devices, but it also affected the grades of students in the class who were not using devices! I guess we can call it ‘not being present by association.’

Wait, what’s that you say? I’m not being present by checking my cell phone when I am on a walk with you? Do you know something? You are exactly right…My bad!

I need to shut off my phone when I am with others. Next time I will just leave it at home.

Thanks for holding me accountable. Let’s take a right on this street…

Have you noticed that many of the drivers in the cars passing by us are either texting and driving or on their phones when they should be focused on the road?!?! Did you know that studies have been done that show texting and driving is more dangerous than drinking and driving?  So, I completely agree with you when you say…

‘Put your cell phones down when driving, be present and focus on the road!’

Nothing on that damn phone is so important that you need to risk your life and the lives of others by being on it.  Cell phones, as we have already seen, are a big culprit for people not being present. And it won’t be the last time we mention them in this post.

Oh hey, there’s my friend Michelle, let’s go say hi to her, I will introduce you to her.

I’m glad you enjoyed meeting her, and I agree with you – she is awesome. It sounds like she had a great time at the Britney Spears concert the other night. You do make a great point, however, the fact that she didn’t get any work done the day before shows she does not know how to be present at work because all she was thinking about was the concert.  It’s a great example of why it’s important to…

Focus on what is happening now.

Instead of wishing away the time until something happens because you are so excited for it to happen.  The problem is that you are wasting the here and now and not being in the moment.  Speaking of that did you know that there is a study out of Harvard that shows that almost half of our waking hours are not spent living in the moment?

Ok, slow down please, I said pick up the pace A BIT, no need to go to a full sprint on me!

You say we need to stop because you have a meeting. And you want me to accompany you? I guess so, I suppose we can do that.

Well, that was an hour of my life I will never get back!  Why didn’t you tell me it was a timeshare sales pitch so that you could get free tickets to Disney?  And the fact that you didn’t invite me to go see Mickey with you? Not cool!

Getting back to how to be more present…Yes, I did notice that most of the people who were there were on their cell phones throughout the meeting instead of paying attention to the crap that the salesperson was spewing.  It is something I have noticed a lot in the business world, it seems that no matter what company I am at, people are constantly on their cell phones during meetings.

Let’s take a left here, I know a cool little coffee shop where we can grab a coffee.  Just a minute, that girl on the street wants to talk to me. Let’s stop and see what she wants.

Wow, I had a hard time focusing on what she was saying with that ferret on her shoulder

Wait, what?!?!?!  What do you mean I just agreed to give $100 to PETA? Damn!  I guess I wasn’t being present by saying yes to someone without even knowing what the hell they were saying! I’m sure I am not the first person to say yes to something that they weren’t paying attention to!

Ok, time for some coffee.

Hang on, isn’t that… former President Bill Clinton over there.  Do you know him?  Yes, of course, I would like to meet him.

That was pretty cool.  Politics aside, it really is true what people say about him in terms of how he is so good at being present.  I know a few people who have met him and they all say that he has mastered the skill of how to be more present. I think it has to do with the fact that his eye contact and focus is on only you, which makes you feel like you are the only person in the world.

Alright, that’s enough walking for one day.

Thanks so much for going on that walk with me, you have really given me some good stuff to think about. I need to finish this blog post.

Let’s check-in again at the end of the post, ok?

How to Be More Present – What It’s All About!

Being present is all about living in the moment.

A synonym for being present is mindfulness which is defined as ‘the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis; also: such a state of awareness’. ¹

It is being fully focused and aware of what is going on and blocking out everything else.

Some Examples of Not Being Present

Some examples of people who do not know how to be more present include those from the story above, and others, such as:

  Reminiscing about the past instead of the present.
  Thinking about the future instead of the present.
  Engaging with your cell phone when driving, when in a conversation with others, or during a meeting.
  Saying yes to someone without knowing what you have agreed to because your mind is somewhere else.
  Being on your phone during a meeting or while you are with someone.
  Thinking about something else while in a conversation.
  Letting your mind wander when you are supposed to be focused on a task.

How many of these can you identify with personally? Do you find having a hard time with how to be more present sometimes? Do you see others failing to be present when they are with you? How does it make you feel?

Why Do We Have Such a Hard Time Being Present?

There are many reasons we have such a hard time being present:

  Our brains are so used to multi-tasking that we have a hard time focusing on one thing at a time.
  There are so many distractions in our life, such as our cell phones and social media.
  We are not only interrupted often, we let ourselves be interrupted.
  It seems like we are overwhelmed with so many things going on in our lives – from work to kids to friends to extra-curricular activities.

How to Be More Present – Use it or Lose It

There are a few things we can do to improve our ability for how to be more present or to bring some mindfulness into our lives, such as:

  Go for a walk and leave your cell phone behind and really engage your senses. What do you – see? hear? feel? smell? Just take some time to take everything in.

  Learn some deep breathing exercises. When you find yourself not being present, simply close your eyes and take a deep breath and notice the change in your state.

  Learn to exercise some self-control with your cell phone:

  Turn it off or better yet don’t bring it to meetings.

  Put it away when you are out with a friend

  Do not text and drive! Firstly, it is now illegal in most places. Secondly, you cannot be focused on the road and your phone at the same time. It is not worth it!

  Try having a full day with no cell phone or electronics – can you do it?

  Practice active listening, instead of thinking what you are going to say next, really listen to the person you are with.

  Take time for reflection every day and just enjoy being in the moment

  Stop thinking about the past (which has already happened) and the future (which isn’t a guarantee) and simply enjoy the moment and enjoy the process.

  Try practicing mindfulness meditation or yoga. On a personal note, the one thing meditation has helped me with is to be able to bring my thoughts back to where they should be once they drift off – which really is what being present is all about.

When to Use It:

  Anytime you feel disconnected and not being present.

What Do You Think?

  Do you find you have a hard time with how to be more present? Do you employ any other strategies other than the ones we have discussed above?

So, how did you like this post?

 WHAT?

You want me to repeat what I just said because you weren’t listening to me as you were thinking about something else?  Geesh and you impressed me so much with your ability for being present during our walk!

What could be so important that you were not paying attention to me?

OH, well in that case…I totally understand and hell, no one is perfect!

The fact that you were not being present because you were so excited about reading tomorrow’s Prime Your Pump blog post does not make you a bad person, it just makes you a person who is not being present!

Until next time, work on how to be more present and as always…PYMFP!

–Rick

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