How to Put On Your Big Girl Pants and Let Him Go
Firing people sucks.
As a young professional, I have neither been fired nor had to do any firing of my own. Working in a large complex sometimes dysfunctional organization, I have seen my share of people, up and down the corporate ladder “resign” aka be terminated. Sometimes for well-known and good reason, but sometimes these abrupt changes leave people wondering “WTF happened to Susan from Finance?”
Seeing as how I had no experience on how to fire someone, I was a little unsure of what to do when the situation arose in my personal life. Recently, due to exciting life changes; I was forced into this new role of having to “let someone go.” I’ll admit, I’m still learning how to do it tactfully, but hopefully my experience and advice might provide some insights for those of you who might be struggling with similar circumstances.
I’ll now walk you through how I used tools and techniques from business and describe how I paralleled them to my situation. Think of this as a little how to fire someone guide.
Santiago and I have known each other for a couple of months now. Santiago was around when all of my furniture was delivered, he assisted the Miami-Dade Water and Sewer Department hook up my water, he helped me pick out my paint colors (come to find out later he is color-blind, so not sure how he thought he was being helpful) and he was even the first one to see all of my light fixtures fully installed. We have made multiple trips to the Home Depot together, punched holes into my kitchen ceiling, and been on our hands and knees ‘discussing’ how to remove the paint splatters from my baseboards.
Like many blossoming relationships, ours got off to an exceptional start. Santiago was punctual, responsive to my frantic texts and very reasonable with his labor costs.
Santiago is my handyman… well he WAS my handyman.
The first time we saw our house as prospective buyers, Santiago was removing the hurricane shutters (post this year’s Hurricane Irma scare). As a first-time homeowner, I really loved the fact that my new house came with a handyman that knew where all of the “skeletons” were hidden so-to-speak. I quickly got his number and locked in his time for the repairs I anticipated making.
Excited to get moving on the upgrades Andrew and I decided to make to the house, Santiago began removing light fixtures, painting and installing recessed lighting in the kitchen. Though I’ve lived in Miami for 6 years I somehow haven’t picked up any Spanish at all, making communication between us an issue. But I assumed that with hand signals and encouraging smiles we would get by. This should have been my first clue that maybe everything I was expressing wasn’t getting across; I suppose I had some pretty big new homeowner blinders on.
Cue the first mishap and the beginning of my frustration… the ceiling paint “somehow” ended up on the walls making my living room look like a sterile cocaine palace. Nothing another few gallons of paint, additional labor hours, and a stern talking to couldn’t fix.
At this point, he had done a decent job on the lighting and the interior paint. (Well after cleaning up paint splatters on the baseboards, wood floors and after repainting most of the 1st floor). However, there were a few additional things we still needed done. In addition to the painting fiasco and a couple uneven recessed lights, he also began committing to dates and times and cancelling last minute, or showing up extremely late. One-day jobs quickly turned into two-to-three day jobs.
But, being the reasonable person I am, I decided to give Santiago another shot. Plus if I’m completely honest, I didn’t want to spend the time to find someone new and have to go through the entire ritual of getting to know a new handyman and have to explain how to set up a Venmo account for fast and easy transacting etc. etc.
As committed to this homeowner handyman relationship as I was, I turned to the Internet for advice on how to deal with unruly handyman. While researching, I came across some articles on how to deal with unruly employees; those that show up late, those with subpar performance, those with communication issues. Through my research I found a solid list of techniques that I decided to try with Santiago. I would try the following three things for our next home improvement project; 1. Don’t ignore the problem, 2. Give clear behavioral feedback and 3. Setting consequences.
At this stage, we were already living in the house when I asked Santiago to power wash the entire townhouse including the patio and rooftop. As my research explained and as I planned, I wasn’t going to ignore the problem. I verbalized that Santiago needed to be at the house by 8:30 am that day. By him knowing I would be around and by setting expectations that he would begin first thing in the morning, I hoped that this would encourage fast and efficient work results.
Unsurprisingly, he arrived late and possibly hung-over (jury’s still out on that), took multiple breaks and a long lunch break. Additionally after 7.5 hours of work he still wasn’t finished and it truly was a half-assed job. As the frustration continued to build, I verbalized my dissatisfaction with the work in a very clear manner stating that I was not going to pay him the full amount that was agreed upon. In doing so, I had addressed the problem head-on, gave feedback on performance and set a consequence. He was a bit salty but in the end did agree that the work was incomplete and returned the following day to finish up.
I won’t bore you with additional home improvement fails, but I will tell you that the last straw occurred when I noticed that Santiago and I enjoy some of the same things. Things such as lounging on my patio furniture and excessively playing with Leia. Also, admiring my beautiful new rooftop overlooking Coconut Grove whilst enjoying a cold beer.
That was the final straw. I put on my big girl pants, expressed my concerns and told him we would no longer be needing his services. Having already been paid for all of the work, and probably feeling the frustration from my end, we parted on amicable terms. In the end, I look at these frustrating couple of weeks as a great learning experience; both as a new homeowner and young adult. Never thought I would have to learn how to fire someone that I started out on such great terms with.
Use it Or Lose It:
I truly hope you don’t have a Santiago situation of your own, but if you do, try the following:
Don’t ignore the problem
Give clear, behavioral feedback
Document the issues
Be consistent
Set consequences if things don’t change
Don’t poison the well, i.e don’t shit talk to other employees/workers
Be courageous
Suggest improvement
When to Use The “How to Fire Someone” Guide
Firing, letting people go or discontinuing services can occur in many facets of your personal life. This is not a comprehensive list, but it gives you a good idea of potential applicable situations
Gardeners, handyman, plumbers, etc. that are no longer providing value
Mechanics that do a shitty job
Butchers (I for one hate a lazy butcher)
Friends (this one can be tough but sometimes you are better off without some people in your life)
Romantic relationships
Let’s Discuss:
Do you think I did the right thing letting Santiago go? Would you have done anything differently? In hindsight, I would have nixed his ass sooner so let’s just skip the “how did you let that go on for so long,” okay?
Keep in mind that not all people in your life are meant to stay and keep priming that pump!
Xoxo Bri
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