How Many of These 54 Rules of Etiquette Do You Know?

It happened when I was at a previous job. There was a bunch of us from my department out for lunch. About 10 minutes later, a group of people from a neighboring department at the company arrived and sat at the table next to us. We all exchanged hellos, they then sat at their table while we continued our conversation and ordered. Perhaps a half hour later I glanced over to their table and noticed something and to be honest, I almost laughed out loud.

Something was going on with someone at the table, and if I noticed, surely one of the others at that table must have noticed. Time passed, we finished our meal, passed by our colleagues and exchanged pleasantries as we exited stage left and ‘the something’ was still going on. In fact, as we walked out, one of the women I was with asked me if I noticed anything peculiar at the other table. Unfortunately, the people at that table were likely unfamiliar with a specific rule of etiquette, so they said nothing. Which is the topic of today’s blog post – rules of etiquette.

What was going on at the other table? You will need to wait until the end of this blog post to find out!

Rules of Etiquette – Use It or Lose It

Are really just manners and code of how you should act and behave in various settings in a ‘do unto others’ way. In this blog post, we will cover 54 basic rules of etiquette that you can use in various areas of your life. Some may surprise you as they surprised me.

A quick note before we begin, most of these are intended for the business world but they can also be applied to situations outside the office as well. I have split them up into 6 areas: conversation etiquette, listening etiquette, other professional etiquette rules, phone etiquette, etiquette while dining out and general business etiquette.

Conversation Etiquette

(1)  Topics: your best bet is to discuss stuff that won’t create any anger or argument. Some possible topics are sports or current events

(2)  Let others talk too: don’t dominate conversations; it’s annoying, let others talk.

(3)  Don’t interrupt: let people finish their thoughts without interrupting and trying to finish them!

(4)  Be careful: don’t discuss gossip, inappropriate subjects or spread rumors.

(5)  Loudness: never raise your voice or interrupt or shout across a shared space.

(6)  Mum’s the word! never pass on information that has been shared in confidence.

(7)  Be considerate of others time: if someone looks busy you may want to come back later or send an email/text.

Listening Etiquette

(8)  Use body language: let them know you are listening with your body language. Make eye contact, nod your head (but not like a bobblehead, that’s just weird)

(9)  Add to what they say: show you are listening by adding brief comments.

(10)  Use open-ended questions: to get them to feel comfortable and open up if they don’t have much to say.

Other Professional Etiquette Rules

(11)  Profanity: do not curse!

(12)  Ditch the unnecessary cell phone conversations: anticipate personal calls and call people first…outside of work.

(13)  Off the table: keep your phone off the table during meetings.

(14)  Personal space: be careful not to invade people’s personal space! – don’t stand too close!

Phone Etiquette

(15)  Return calls: within 24 hours…especially for business.

(16)  Don’t know? in a business setting if you don’t have an answer to their question let them know what you are doing to get it or direct them to the appropriate area to get it.

(17)  If you are going to be out: redirect your phone to someone else to pick up your calls to let them know when you will return their call. At the least leave an out-of-office message with the dates you will be out.

(18)  When calling someone and getting a receptionist: promptly identify yourself and the purpose of your call. That way you will get the right person sooner.

(19)  When answering the phone: identify yourself and your department politely and with some enthusiasm.

(20)  Technical difficulties: make sure your phone system is working, that your phone doesn’t keep ringing, and your voicemail isn’t full!

(21)  Ugh, telemarketers: don’t feel obligated to speak with obvious obnoxious telemarketers. Politely say you are not interested and hang up. BUT make sure it is, in fact, a telemarketer before you hang up!

(22)  Be mindful: just because you are not face-to-face with the person doesn’t mean you have carte blanche to be rude, crass or abrupt.

(23)  Others in the room: don’t speak to others in the room when on the phone with someone.

(24)  Focus! doing something else like eating, typing or watching TV suggests your attention is somewhere else.

(25)  No gum! chewing gum while on the phone can be super annoying to the other person.

(26)  No coughing or sneezing into the phone: if you feel the need to cough or sneeze, simply turn your head or excuse yourself for a minute.

(27)  Calling from the crapper: don’t call from the stall and subject the other person to gross noises.

Etiquette When Dining Out

(28)  Be clear if you are treating: of course, you can go out to dinner with colleagues without picking up the tab, but if you are you should make it known. If you are treating say, “Me and Bob are hosting a dinner and would love you to be our guests. And if you aren’t treating say, “Hey Mary, would you and Mike be interested in meeting us at Joe Shmoe’s Grill on Saturday? If you’re in I’ll make a reservation.

(29)  Assume a split check: if you are out with a group, assume the bill will be split evenly. However, if you are ordering something very small and everyone else is ordering more you can simply ask for separate checks before the meal.

(30)  Another option: is to accept the request to join but simply say you are tight on cash this month and would they mind if you got a separate check.

(31)  Want separate checks? if you want separate checks, let the server know at the start of the meal if they don’t ask.

(32)  Valet etiquette: thank the valet upon arriving and tip when leaving. Same goes for the coat check attendant.

(33)  Turn off your phone: put your phone on vibrate or silent mode before you enter the restaurant.

(34)  Ready to order? a closed menu is the sign you are ready to order.

(35)  No phone convos: don’t have conversations on your cell phone at a restaurant.

(36)  Excuse me: if you need to use the restroom a simple “excuse me, please” is all that is necessary, no need for details. It is rude to just get up and leave the table!

(37)  Be friendly with the servers: they are real people too, not just your servant. But be mindful that they have others to take care of, so don’t be too chatty.

(38)  Always tip: even if the service isn’t great. It is better to leave a tip of 8-10% if the service was less than adequate rather than no tip at all. Leaving no tip is extremely harsh and the server may just think you forgot if you don’t leave one.

(39)  If something does go wrong: mention it right away so the server can make amends.

(40)  Tip the bartender too: that is unless the service was horrible. Bartenders make their money on tips.

(41)  Kids: if you have kids don’t let them run around, it is both dangerous and inconsiderate. Like my Dad used to say, “if you want to act like idiots, act like idiots at home.”

General Business Etiquette Tips

(42)  Chit chat: talk with and get to know others around you at work, but don’t discriminate based on position or authority.

(43)  Say thanks and show appreciation: when people help you make copies or get a room ready for a presentation make sure to notice and thank them.

(44)  When you are a guest: if visiting another office, grab a glass of water or a cup of coffee and get to know people there.

(45)  Introduce yourself: when arriving early to a meeting introduce yourself to those around you.

(46)  Use icebreakers: when at social events to get people to open up so you can get to know them.

(47)  Remember names and things about people to build rapport.

(48)  Send thank you notes: to those who have helped you or given you something.

(49)  Personal business: don’t conduct personal business on company time.

(50)  Gifts or gratuities: that are deemed inappropriate by your place of work should not be accepted.

(51)  Taking credit: for something someone else has done is a no-no.

(52)  Rise up: courteous people rise when someone comes into their workspace.

(53)  Eat your own food! don’t be a food thief! Don’t be ‘that’ person who steals other people’s food out of the fridge.

Back to the restaurant story from the introduction…

The company I worked at required us to wear our ID badges on our lapel. I still to this day do not know how this happened…but somehow the woman dropped a big piece of food and it got stuck on her ID badge. Clearly, she didn’t notice, but there is no doubt others at the table MUST have seen it. Seeing as how it may have been a bit awkward, no one said anything.

I was tempted to ask her if she was saving it for later when I walked by, but I refrained. Just kidding!

Which brings us to rules of etiquette #56…

(54)  If someone at your table: has food on their face (or ID badge!), call their attention to it subtly. You can either say, “oops, there’s something on your ID badge” or if they have something on their chin for example, silently motion by using your index finger and tap your chin.

When it comes to rules of etiquette, small details matter, and they send strong messages about you and who you are. By following these rules of etiquette and being polite and respectful towards others, odds are they will act the same way towards you.

Until next time, follow the rules of etiquette and as always…PYMFP!

–Rick

When to Use It

Use these rules of etiquette whenever appropriate in your life.

What Do You Think?

Many of these rules of etiquette I did not know! How about you? How many of these rules of etiquette did you know? Please share in the comments below!

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References

The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts, Dale Carnegie Training, A Fireside Book, New York, NY

Post, P., & Post, E. (2004). Emily Post’s Etiquette. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.