How to Find a Mentor in Your Life!

Sep 2018

This week’s video is about how to find a mentor and once you find one how to best manage the mutual relationship.

In this video we will discuss:

(1) Some characteristics of a good mentor.
(2) How to find a mentor.
(3) What a mentor can do for you.
(4) What you can do for your mentor.

(1) Some characteristics of a good mentor are as follows:

(1) They are committed to mentoring. It is their burning desire to help others.
(2) They have something to say that is of value to the mentee.
(3) They will be there in the long-term, and by long-term, I mean years or decades. I always say” “I am your mentor until I start drooling or I am dead.”
(4) They are empathetic and listen to the mentee’s problems before prescribing solutions.
(5) They don’t want anything from the mentee with the exceptions of the joy of being a mentor and the pleasure of watching others bloom.

(2) How to find a mentor:

In my experience, it is far more frequent that the mentee finds the mentor as opposed to vice versa, although it does happen.

If you are a student, especially in college or a trade school, look for someone who can do something for you. Other suggestions for how to find a mentor are:

Find a professor who invites students to office hours with the expressed intention of mentoring them.

Many colleges offer mentorship programs where they pair you up with a mentor from the community

Another option is to seek out someone in the community who is in the field you are interested in and ask them to mentor you.

If you are a working professional:

Look for someone senior who is interested in and has the time to mentor you. This can be in your organization or outside organizations.

You can also find them at networking events, church groups, through trade associations, via other connections that you have, online via LinkedIn etc.

(3) What a Mentor Can Do For You

A mentor can give you advice on:

Things you need to improve.
Mistakes they have made.
Stuff they have learned.
Best practices in business and in life.

They will also listen to you with the intention of helping you be a better person.

(4) What You Can Do For Your Mentor

Some things you can do for your mentor:

Actively listen to their advice and follow it, and let them know about the experience so they can improve the advice they give in the future.

Be honest with your mentor to maximize the mutual benefits of the relationship.

Acknowledge your mentor’s contribution to your life. Be grateful.

Use It or Lose It to Make It Actionable:

To find a mentor:

{and] Look for someone who can do something for you.

If you are a student consider professors, mentorship programs at your school or reach out to find someone in your community.

If you are a working professional, look for someone senior who is interested in and has the time to mentor you in your organization, outside organizations or other ways that we discussed.

When to Use It:

When you want to find a mentor and once you find a mentor.

What Do You Think?

Do you have any other suggestions for how to find a mentor or any thoughts on mentoring? Please share in the comments below.

Until next time, behave and as always…Prime Your Pump!
–Howie

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Wow! Where were you 50 years or so ago when I attended college? I sure wish that I listened to this presentation way back then as I might have done things a tad bit differently. The concept of mentoring did not exist in rural western Pennsylvania. College professors were there to teach the course and grade your performance. Very little, if any, interaction between professor and student outside of the classroom. About 12 of us undergrads sort of banded together, being mechanical engineering/metallurgy majors, in a cooperate and graduate mode – we all successfully graduated and found jobs. I tried keeping in touch with one professor, we corresponded for about a year and a half, but then he died.

In a reply to one of Rick’s postings, I told about my teaching experiences in the Air Force. That’s my first exposure to a mentor/mentee situation. But it was understood that such a relationship was transient – the students graduated went on to their combat assignment, and the instructors started over with a new group of students. There was no intent or expectation of a continuing relationship.

In large aerospace companies 30 years ago, there were no attempts at orientation. You were briefed on the end goal of the project, and assigned to a group. I read documentation, attended meetings, and talked to people for several months before I felt I could make positive contributions on my own. Kept my ears open and tried to absorb as much as possible.

But let’s focus on something positive. 25 years later, knowing I’d be retiring, the group leader and I interviewed candidates to be my replacement. We selected a young female engineer who impressed us both with her credentials, past experience, and personality. I needed to mentor Beth and bring her up to speed. I put her on distribution for all my emails, and then set some ground rules.
– You are my shadow.
– If I’m in a meeting, you are in the meeting.
– If I’m on a telephone call, you are listening on an extension or on the speaker phone.
– If I need to talk with someone in another department, you are coming with me. I’ll introduce you, and explain that person’s specialty and how he/she fits in with the overall scheme.
– There is no such thing as a stupid question.
– The only place you cannot follow me is into the men’s room. And vice/versa.

I gradually increased Beth’s responsibilities to include talking directly with the customer, chairing meetings, coordinating with other departments, writing portions of reports and documentation for the customer. After about 3 months, I asked her to come into my office area, and told her “It’s time. We are swapping places. You can handle it.” I gave Beth the lead, and shadowed her for a week. In my opinion, a seamless transition. Two weeks later I retired, and have not looked back. Beth attended my retirement party, gave me a hug, and said “thanks for everything”.

Now changing directions on you – my wife listened to this video. Joan asked me “what does he teach’? I answered “Business Management and Personal Self Improvement”. Joan replied “If I was going to take a class, I’d like him to be the instructor”.

One Reply to “How to Find a Mentor in Your Life!”

Dave Savadge says:

September 28, 2018 at 2:56 pm

Wow! Where were you 50 years or so ago when I attended college? I sure wish that I listened to this presentation way back then as I might have done things a tad bit differently. The concept of mentoring did not exist in rural western Pennsylvania. College professors were there to teach the course and grade your performance. Very little, if any, interaction between professor and student outside of the classroom. About 12 of us undergrads sort of banded together, being mechanical engineering/metallurgy majors, in a cooperate and graduate mode – we all successfully graduated and found jobs. I tried keeping in touch with one professor, we corresponded for about a year and a half, but then he died.

In a reply to one of Rick’s postings, I told about my teaching experiences in the Air Force. That’s my first exposure to a mentor/mentee situation. But it was understood that such a relationship was transient – the students graduated went on to their combat assignment, and the instructors started over with a new group of students. There was no intent or expectation of a continuing relationship.

In large aerospace companies 30 years ago, there were no attempts at orientation. You were briefed on the end goal of the project, and assigned to a group. I read documentation, attended meetings, and talked to people for several months before I felt I could make positive contributions on my own. Kept my ears open and tried to absorb as much as possible.

But let’s focus on something positive. 25 years later, knowing I’d be retiring, the group leader and I interviewed candidates to be my replacement. We selected a young female engineer who impressed us both with her credentials, past experience, and personality. I needed to mentor Beth and bring her up to speed. I put her on distribution for all my emails, and then set some ground rules.
– You are my shadow.
– If I’m in a meeting, you are in the meeting.
– If I’m on a telephone call, you are listening on an extension or on the speaker phone.
– If I need to talk with someone in another department, you are coming with me. I’ll introduce you, and explain that person’s specialty and how he/she fits in with the overall scheme.
– There is no such thing as a stupid question.
– The only place you cannot follow me is into the men’s room. And vice/versa.

I gradually increased Beth’s responsibilities to include talking directly with the customer, chairing meetings, coordinating with other departments, writing portions of reports and documentation for the customer. After about 3 months, I asked her to come into my office area, and told her “It’s time. We are swapping places. You can handle it.” I gave Beth the lead, and shadowed her for a week. In my opinion, a seamless transition. Two weeks later I retired, and have not looked back. Beth attended my retirement party, gave me a hug, and said “thanks for everything”.

Now changing directions on you – my wife listened to this video. Joan asked me “what does he teach’? I answered “Business Management and Personal Self Improvement”. Joan replied “If I was going to take a class, I’d like him to be the instructor”.